Pain during and after

[Ilovepeas175]

Just that - I feel extremely tight all the time and not sure how to get past it. My DP os very understanding and never pushes (literally!), but it’s getting me down as it ends up in us not having sex very often. I do have the desire, but knowing it’ll be sore during and after is off putting. What can I do?

This sounds like vaginismus, which might sound a bit scary but there’s help available to overcome it. The first step would be to visit your GP. Things will get better xx

I was like this when I was in my early 20s. It was psychological and I got past it as I started having more and more sex. Making sure I was aroused and wet enough before intercourse. Perhaps you could have an orgasm before you start penetration? You should see your doctor if it is actually causing you pain, though.

No advice unfortunately but I'm in exactly the same boat, so I'll be following the replies with interest! I totally get how frustrating it is. We do make sure to use a lot of lube but even then it can still feel uncomfortable and hurt. It even feels uncomfortable me just using my fingers.

How old are you ? I had problems with the menopause. I read a little about it and used a vibrator and lube. It helped a little. You can also get dilators that graduate in size.
It’s still not great for me with mu husband as he is not keen on using the lube ( from Yes! Yes! Yes! ). I have a lovely time by myself.

I forgot to add, I was also prescribed a cream and HRT patches. That helped .

Thanks for the replies, I think a trip to the GP is in order.
there’s no issue with dryness, it’s more it feels like I’m trying to block him, if you know what I mean. And I’m not, I absolutely want to get our sex life back on track.
I’m 41 so not completely unrealistic that I could be peri-menopausal but I don’t have any other symptoms x

If this is a new problem, it's probably menopause related. Otherwise, it does sound rather like vaginismus.