Sexually frustrated

[namechanged9999]

I’ve had some amazing sex in my life. Me and bf are in our 30s. He never does foreplay. He will just turn me around and put it in when he’s in the mood and squeeze my ass beforehand. There’s no kissing, no fingering, he never goes down on me. He doesn’t seem to care if I come and I have to finish myself off. I can’t seem to get through to him. When we spoke he admits that me being turned on doesn’t turn him on because he could equally be any other guy so he doesn’t feel it’s special. And if he isn’t turned on by me being turned on by HIM then I don’t see why he’d pleasure me. I feel at this stage like I could be anyone, and like a hole in the wall. His MO is to squeeze my ass for a bit then go for it. What do I do? My ex husband took me to heaven and back in bed.

note my bf comes every time including through oral, deep throat, and all sorts.

Your BF not being remotely interested if you having pleasure or not is a huge red flag. As you say . You could be anyone, and like a hole in the wall you are being used as holes for his pleasure. Sorry to be so blunt.

Not that this excuses anything, but is there a cultural dimension to this? Is his expectations that you should be less sexually experienced / uninhibited?
Also do you actually enjoy deep throat, and all sorts?

Your self worth seems to be very low. Your BF obviously will not change, therefore you have to leave him. You will not regret it.

I think like a lot of women, they reach their prime and realise that mediocre sex isn’t what they want anymore. I think age and confidence are linked too. There are plenty of men out there who will show you a good time, your pleasure is not important to your bf, find a guy who is prepared to go to town on you and put your pleasure at the forefront of his mind. There’s a huge difference between sex and mind blowing sex.

@namechanged9999 I agree with a lot of the other posters, although there is a little something niggling at me in the back of my head. My DW's ex husband is on the spectrum as well as having quite an abusive upbringing and together resulted in what is a very odd mix at times.

I wonder if, now bear with me, there may be more to this than meets the eye?

Even if there was I'm not saying you should not make any changes in your situation that you want to do( like pull the cord and eject), I'm just thinking getting the fullest picture that you can when you can might help you move on to a happier future.

Or not and gtfo.

Good luck

Sling him, you deserve so much better and be treated as a woman, not a hole.

What does nasty mean? Women who enjoy sex and will participate in most sexual activities? I must be nasty too, never had any complaints. Sorry but no I couldn’t put up with this guy, why are you even with him?

He's slept with 50 people and he's this awful in bed, shit. OP move along and meet someone who knows how to rock that clit and make you wet... Good god...

@DGConsultant you have a certain way with words…I get the impression that you know what you’re talking about…

Jeez, just ditch him and find someone decent

@Mermaidparades , damn straight I do. Take It to the bank... OP find a nice guy who knows how to have you quivering and coming everywhere... Life is short, good sex is fairly essential. Take It from someone who Isn't having any...

@DGConsultant if I were single…I think we could get into lots of trouble together 😜
You speak a lot of sense

Sorry but if you have put up with shit sex for so long where is his incentive you change
you have basically told him he is the worst sex you have ever had and he doesn’t give a shit.

so put up with or leave. Quite simple really

Why do you still give him oral? Does he force or coerce you?
Are you battling against a non western liberal culture here?