PIV isn't happening

[Elledeco]

Been with DP for 3 years an I'm really happy.
Both been married and divorced.
Our sex life is great but we hardly ever have PIV and its starting to bother me.
We have sex pretty much daily but it's always hand jobs, ending in a blow job for him and him using his hands and mouth on me.
PIV hardly ever happens.
I reckon we've done it once this year.
He's always telling me to ask for what I want but I don't know how to bring it up.
He's an older guy, 54, and a little over weight so I think he's got a little lazy as he's always knackered after missionary!
What should I say and how ?
I really miss it !

Just be honest! Say what you’ve said here, our sex life is fantastic but I’d love to have you inside me. Ask him to articulate why he’s reluctant. If it is down to position, would you be able to go on top to take the stress off him?
Good luck!!

Definitely be honest and try different positions.

Maybe surprise him with your go to hot outfit and tell him exactly what you want and how you want it etc etc!!

Good luck and report back!

Just communicate! Everyone's sex lives are so different, many prefer lots of foreplay, others prefer just a little. My current boyfriend and I always have PIV when we have sex. We both prefer me on top but sometimes I get too tired, especially if we've done it a few times in one day so will switch up. Try different positions.

You get on top of him to have sex. You will have fun. Be honest with him that you miss it alot.

He’s asking you so be honest - say what you want. I always go on top the morning after (I stay at my boyfriends once a fortnight or so) as we normally have a fairly long sex session in the evening and his back is killing by morning! I do like being on top, one of my favourite positions and my boyfriend loves it too. My ex never did, he couldn’t ever come in that position and god I was so bored of missionary with him.

I'm not sure he enjoys it particularly?
He never cums that way, only through oral or handjob...
Which of course makes me reluctant to ask as what if he doesn't like it ?
Is that a thing ?
Do men prefer oral and handjobs more than piv as they get older ?

Hi @Elledeco for me a sucky always leads to fucky and a hand job isn’t the same as piv

Do you know if he could or has ever watched a lot of porn it may be the death grip.

And sorry if personal but do you think everything is tight and in order iykwim? Keel exercises etc if you’ve had children

My exw had two sections so it was always night and ahem tight

I would guess there's a reason piv is not happening. Is he worried about losing his erection perhaps? Or is he quite small and therefore finds it easier to get friction from a hand job?

I have had one partner who I thought would choose oral sex over piv if he had to only have one, but when I asked him he said he'd still choose piv despite being an oral obsessive. It would be unusual to prefer oral/hand to piv but certainly not unheard of.

I would seduce him while he's sitting on a chair and see if he will go with it with you on top.

🙄

@Andypandy799 He's 54, they have sex almost daily, he's overwight, and it sounds as though he does cum , just not from PIV. If he's got time and energy to wank over porn, I'd be impressed. 🙄

@Elledeco If he's asking what you want, tell him. If his answer causes a problem, you can deal with it together as a couple, rather than you agonising over not getting PIV on your own.
Good luck. ❤️