Was I sexually abused ?

[namenamenamechange1010]

NC
I'm female, the friend I refer to is female. When I was 11 (I'm 50 now) my friend (also 11 at the time) showed me the porn mags her dad had hidden away. I had never seen anything like this before. My friend said that her and her other friend did things like what was in the magazines (I have always presumed this was a female friend of hers, but I guess it might not have been) and my friend would show me. She gave me oral sex and suggested I tried it on her. Which I did. We did this for a while.

I have no idea how many other friends she did this with or if it was just the other 1 friend, or if she did it because she saw it in the magazines and thought it was 'normal' to do it or if she was being sexually abused herself and thought/was told that it was what everyone did or if her friend was being sexually abused and then in turn abused my friend, who in turn both thought/was told it was what everyone did. I will never know the answers to those questions.

Was I abused ?

I wouldn't have said you were abused. You were 2 children who tried sexual practices with each other. Neither of you should have been exposed to pornography at that age. You're a mature woman of 50 now, and presumably have had a normal life with normal adult relationships? Either find a way to put this all to the back of your mind or seek counselling - it's possible to self-refer, online.

I don't think it was abuse. Very inappropriate that she was able to access porn mags at 11.

I don't think she abused you if you were both children and you were happy to do so at the time.

It does sound like she may potentially have been a victim of abuse though

I don't think young people or even children experimenting with sex is uncommon. I had a similar experience when I was about 15. A female friend of the same age and I were talking about sex and she said she could orgasm - at that time I had never had an orgasm. She offered to make me cum - we both engaged in oral sex (and I had my first orgasm). I had no lesbian desire at that time - it was quite mechanical and I felt bad about it afterwards but moved on after quite quickly. I have not had any lesbian or bi thoughts since then and I still know the other girl - now in her 40s who as far as I know is married and hetero. I also once had a boyfriend who I told about my experience and he told me that a similar thing happened to him with a boy when they were about 13. My advice is to think about the future and forget things that you wish had not happend in the past.

You weren't abused.

Her Dad should have been more careful hiding his porn stash.