What actually is vanilla sex?

[Femme99]

I see it on here a lot in various threads.
I’m still unsure what it actually means, does it mean sex without anal/oral/BDSM etc?

That's what I understand, plain old cock in fanny in a few positions and nothing else.

Wikipedia describes it well here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conventional_sex

For me it is Missionary position, no other positions etc and no kinks

I’ve read the Wikipedia link now, which clarifies things better, thanks

I think it's just sex that doesn't involve things that were considered aberrations in the recent past but now aren't. Things like group sex, restraints, spanking, role-play, dressing up and so forth.

I think it's an unhelpful term, tbh, it invites comparisons with people who only eat 'beige food' and don't challenge themselves with fancy foreign food. Whereas sex involving perfectly normal things can be really good, and a kink can just get in the way.

I suppose oral sex wasn't vanilla a couple of generations ago.

Vanilla = sex that doesn't involve fetishes

All I know is, it's bloody rubbish. Lol.

@GentlemanJay

All I know is, it's bloody rubbish. Lol.

I’m a bit on the fence, I think you can have good vanilla sex if you have good chemistry and a good emotional connection.

Saying that, I agree that variety is the spice of life and kinks add a much better variation to sex and keep things exciting!

Four years ago I became single after 24 years with my husband. Lots of things have changed in the dating world in that time and I found it useful to tell prospective dates that I enjoy sex but consider myself vanilla. As long as you and your partner are both happy what does it matter if you are vanilla or anything else? For me vanilla is not boring sex, to me it’s any position plus oral but no toys, kinks or anal. My partner and I are a perfect fit and make each other very happy.

Surely what each person thinks is a fetish or normal varies. Oral? Anal? Spanking? Sucking toes? Using toys? Dirty language? Is this all vanilla or not?

I'd settle for a bloody mini milk right now.