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Which of these is more 'shocking'

22 replies

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 09/07/2021 23:54

DP and I were regrettably discussing past exploits. In my past I went through a very self-destructive phase when I'd basically sleep with anyone who glanced my way. DP is really shocked by the fact that once I had sex with 2 men in one night. Basically a fuck buddy had sex with me and then another guy pestered me into letting him come round...even though he knew about guy number 1.

Anyway, I digress...DP has had sex with 3 members of the same family... not at the same time I hasten to add. I feel like DP has no right to be shocked at my previous encounter when he has done this. Which would you be more shocked by?

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BumbleFlump · 10/07/2021 00:29

Tbh they’re both not great but your DP just about trumps it

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BasicDad · 10/07/2021 00:43

I don't think either are that particularly shocking. I'd always be very wary of discussing this kind of stuff with partners though.

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MirandaMarple · 10/07/2021 05:37

Neither are particularly shocking.

You separately had a good time. Nothing wrong with that.

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Estherpologist · 10/07/2021 05:54

I agree with @BasicDad. Neither is so shocking. We all have things in our past. Why make it competative, unless you want to score points against each other?
Why were you discussing it? Unless you've got a really open and accepting relationship, or you're talking about things you want to do again, no good will come of it.

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StarlightLady · 10/07/2021 09:31

LP Hartley - The Go Between. “The past is a foreign country and they do things differently there”.

Neither is who else you’ve had sex with anything to do with anybody else. Why go there? What do you hope to acheive?

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SparklingStars10 · 10/07/2021 11:04

My husband doesn’t know much about my past and in my opinion, it’s best kept that way. He knows I’ve had a MMF threesome but he doesn’t know the depths of my sexual history and nor do I think it would benefit him.

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SirenSays · 10/07/2021 12:00

I think being shocked is fine, but disapproval is a bit grim. Don't try to score points, even if he made you feel in a way about your past adventures. @StarlightLady I love that quote 💕

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1forAll74 · 10/07/2021 13:48

Neither is really shocking. but it's best not to discuss things about your past sex life, because if you really know your partner well, you should know that he might well have a tendency to get uppity about a woman's previous sex life.as in being jealous or prudish or even disgusted in some cases.. ( despite the fact, that some men think it's great to tell everyone about their past exploits)

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StarlightLady · 10/07/2021 14:24

@SirenSays - The quote is my motto for life and goes well with my anthem “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys.

@1forAll74 - lt’s going to take a long time to eradicate double standards. I’m told l frighten some men (hopefully the wrong type of men!) and been called a skirt wearing feminist, whatever one of those is.

I’ve had sex with different people on the same day and not ashamed of it. Some besties know, but l feel no need to share it with a partner or potential partner.

What happens In the boudoir stays in the boudoir!

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JustAnotherOldMan · 10/07/2021 14:39

Were all 3 family members of the same gender?

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Danceswithwhippets · 10/07/2021 14:50

This is a prurient question @MyGhastIsFlabbered so you don’t have to answer, but it is MN so it would be just between us few friends. Who were the 3 family members -all women, of the same generation, sisters?

I once slept with 2 sisters (on different occasions) one of whom became a long-time friend. I never learned if they knew about each other. Hardly horse-whipping behaviour I know, but I’ve led a comparatively quiet life.

It does pay to be careful about asking about/disclosing past sexual histories. It’s a natural interest particularly in a new relationship, but it can bring up unexpected jealousies no matter how liberal the parties are. (How many partners?!! You did what?!!! You did it where?!!)

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StarlightLady · 10/07/2021 15:02

...and l think men in particular seem to have insecurities about whether Mr History was better than them.

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JustAnotherOldMan · 10/07/2021 15:20

@StarlightLady

...and l think men in particular seem to have insecurities about whether Mr History was better than them.

In my personal history I would say it’s the other way around and that it’s women who are insecure about previous partners… but maybe I just see it that way being male
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isitsummertimeyet · 10/07/2021 15:48

I hope the 3 people in the same family didnt include the mum and dad as two of the three family members lol

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MyGhastIsFlabbered · 10/07/2021 21:43

Yes, lesson has been well and truly learnt and my past exploits are kept strictly under wraps from now on. I wish I'd never mentioned it but the cat is out of the bag now.

For those asking I believe they were a mother and 2 daughters...all knew about each other because 3rd daughter once approached him and told him he was never going to 'complete the set'.

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thumpingrug · 11/07/2021 00:17

Come on people this is 2021. No one is expecting anyone to be a vestal virgin anymore. What happened in the past is the past. Move on. It's not a competition.

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SirGawain · 11/07/2021 15:09

@MyGhastIsFlabbered

Yes, lesson has been well and truly learnt and my past exploits are kept strictly under wraps from now on. I wish I'd never mentioned it but the cat is out of the bag now.

For those asking I believe they were a mother and 2 daughters...all knew about each other because 3rd daughter once approached him and told him he was never going to 'complete the set'.

That’s just grim!
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rwalker · 12/07/2021 21:34

Next time I go shopping must get myself a moral compass as don't think theres anything outrageous about ether .

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Lycosidae · 13/07/2021 11:11

Neither is shocking, but then I’ve done both 😳

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j712adrian · 13/07/2021 12:07

Comparisons are pointless.

On the other hand, talking about what’s happened in the past can be a turn-on when you’re together.

…..But if it isn’t, don’t do it.

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Thisisworsethananticpated · 16/07/2021 10:11

I’d say the same family has a bit more ick as it flirts with bodily sex fluids shared between sibling

Whereas a 3 some ? Go you 😊

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Tiw8 · 17/07/2021 09:47

I’ve been with 2 men at the same time so that beats it. Same family? Depends on who they are. To be honest I think that one is worse.

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