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Original poster

Why won't he have sex with me

19 replies

superwoman232 · 09/04/2021 11:19

Met someone online, 3 dates. Spent evenings at his 9 hours at a time twice. Third date he kissed me before I left no tongue. No cuddles on couch, nothing. We just sit next to each other talking. For hours. I really want to take things further because I'm very attracted to him.

I'm a bit confused as to why he won't do it with me when I put all the signs out there. 😂 why isn't he more touchy feely?

OP posts:
Boatingforthestars · 09/04/2021 12:53

He might be awkward, unless hes actively pushing you away you may need to take the lead, as he could be misreading your signs.

From a bloke I'd be wary of coming on too strong if he genuinly likes you and pushing you away.

Just jump on him, if it's too soon he will say.

MisterT373 · 09/04/2021 13:16

As a man I'm always wary as to the right time to get physical. If too soon you're accused of only being only after one thing. Maybe you need to take control in this case.

lightofthetrees · 09/04/2021 14:09

Everyone is different. It's still early and he may be unsure whether you want to proceed or if you think he is pushy. It's hard due to covid but what about suggesting a weekend away together or staying over... makes it a bit clearer. That or you initiate the cuddles on the sofa and see what happens.

Mooncats · 09/04/2021 15:39

What sorts of things do you discuss by text ? Have you ever mentioned/ hinted how you would like things to go via text ? That's what I'd do and gauge his response .

lightofthetrees · 09/04/2021 15:44

Have you inititiated anything? What happens if you start stroking his hair eg

Original poster
superwoman232 · 09/04/2021 17:45

@Boatingforthestars lol if I jump him and he says no I will die

OP posts:
lightofthetrees · 09/04/2021 17:52

Mint at least you will know for sure and if he does say no reject you can basicallly ask outright hu.

Parkerwhereareyou · 09/04/2021 19:34

[quote superwoman232]@Boatingforthestars lol if I jump him and he says no I will die [/quote]
I think probably he wouldn't have gone even on the first date if he didn't fancy you.

Do people do that? I wouldn't.

I think the suggestion to take your text messages up a notch in flirtatiousness isn't bad - at least you'll be able to gauge his response a bit without sitting next to him?

Lilyminilli · 09/04/2021 20:22

Have you discussed sex at all? I met my bf online and we talked quite a bit about sex when we had met for dinner/coffee dates only (what we liked etc). Then we were sat in my house after a date a for about 2 hours chatting until I asked him if he was going to kiss me. Then it was like the floodgates were unlocked Grin.
I think he was a bit shy and didnt want to presume I was "up for it" even though we had discussed it beforehand.
Lucky we did as we went into lockdown straight after and the memory of that night kept us going for a few months!!!

JustAnotherOldMan · 09/04/2021 20:52

As a PP says, he’s possibly being wary about being too forward
There are plenty of other threads on this forum from women complaining some men want sex on the 1st date etc.
Your just going to have be more direct yourself,

lightofthetrees · 11/04/2021 19:11

Any updates OP! Is it a relationship where you might send suggestive photos... I do think you need to initiate the tone a little

fortunacookie · 19/04/2021 17:54

Maybe he has a small member n is waiting til he trusts you enough to be ok with it ? Happened to me that's all

Original poster
superwoman232 · 19/04/2021 19:03

Yes we did it - and he's been texting me since but hasn't offered to meet up again yet. This all happened yesterday

OP posts:
Sparkybloke · 19/04/2021 19:44

Good for you....ask him to meet up maybeSmile...he may still be nervous..

Original poster
superwoman232 · 19/04/2021 20:39

@Sparkybloke isn't it too soon? I don't want to be pushy or desperate. And I feel as the guy he is the one who should offer.

OP posts:
Sparkybloke · 19/04/2021 20:46

Only you can decide....nothing wrong with waiting till he asks you of course....there isn't a simple answer really....good luck...

lightofthetrees · 20/04/2021 19:28

So you have had sex now?

Original poster
superwoman232 · 20/04/2021 20:53

@lightofthetrees yes

OP posts:
Paul72 · 21/04/2021 20:50

I met my wife through online dating. On our first date we sat in a restaurant and talked for hours. I walked back to her car and wanted to kiss her but there were too many people around I was shy.
On our second date, in the same restaurant, we talked for hours again. I then walked her to the train station and tried to give her a kiss on the cheek. We ended up in a real kiss, tongues and all. After that I suggested a glass of wine at my flat. I drove her home the next morning. That was 18 years ago and she is now my wife and sex is still good. If I had not made a move to kiss her gently it might never have happened.

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