Why doesn't he want sex !!

[lollipoprainbow]

I have spent the night with someone three times now and he never wants sex just happy for me to give him a hand job while he fingers me !! I'm wondering if he has ED as I have to get him hard it doesn't seem to happen spontaneously, although he woke up yesterday morning ready for action and still didn't initiate sex just guided my hand over ! He talks about doing it but it never happens!

Agree with Barbara - he might not be up for anything strenuous.

@PussGirl ... "He might not be up for anything strenuous.." ROFL

Ok, yes, I'm a child at heart...

BubblyBarbara has a point though. I'm not suggesting you force him, in any way, shape or form, but maybe next time he is "up", start with your hand, and then say something like "I'll go on top", and then just go for it...

I guess it's possible that he sees you as more than just a bit of fun, and wants to take things slower than you do?? You say he pursued you and charmed you, which suggests that he likes / fancies you.

I think, if you like him, then you owe it to him to talk to him, and ask what he wants from the relationship, and explain what you want. Maybe ask him outright why he won't dtd.

Otherwise, I'd say it's time to move on - plenty of fish in the sea, and all that.

I'd hazard a guess that he's on medication for his heart disease which affects his ability to get & achieve an erection.

@lollipoprainbow - any update? Any changes?

@AverageGuy I'm seeing him Saturday so we will see although my daughter will be there so could be tricky anyway as she's not a great sleeper !!

Fingers crossed!

@lollipoprainbow
We're on tenterhooks here!

How did it go at the weekend?

It’s age. It’s ED.
He is 55.
Ps all men I think are bisexual it’s just most don’t have the guts to explore!

@AverageGuy ha ha !! Nothing to report really, we took my daughter to the amusement arcade she played up a bit, went for dinner, went back to mine had some drinks, went to bed and nothing just went to sleep, I've come to the conclusion that it isn't going to be a sexual relationship which is kind of ok as physically he isn't really my type !!

@lollipoprainbow
Shame! Ah well - Time to move on? pm me!

Physical attraction is important, particularly for a casual thing, but there might be some other connection - mental, emotional, whatever required. Only you know what you want.

@AverageGuy he's hilarious which is always a thing for me and we have great banter/flirty banter !better as friends I feel !

Well, at least that's something!

It's always good to have a new friend, and if he makes you laugh, and you can flirt (and even sleep!) with him without sex (or at least piv) getting in the way, that can be a good thing,

I do think he might be gay though. Sorry.

@AverageGuy yes the crunch will be when he meets someone new though (he seems to meet women wherever he goes he's a massive flirt!!) then where does that leave me ? ghosted no doubt !!

@lollipoprainbow
"he seems to meet women wherever he goes he's a massive flirt!!"

I'm a divorced single guy, and I struggle to meet any women. I definitely don't have the confidence to flirt with a complete stranger, (in person, at least! ) so either he is really confident, or he doesn't want a ("proper") sexual relationship with them, and therefore he doesn't need to hide his insecurities.

If he feels "safe" enough to flirt so much, (and the women feel safe enough to allow it!) it may be because he (they) knows nothing (or not much) is going to happen.

@AverageGuy "women love me" that's what he said !! When we met he told me it had been two years since he last had sex, I thought that meant he hadn't met anyone in those two years but it transpires he has just hasn't had slept with them ! . I get the impression he does this a lot, meets women then leaves them feeling puzzled ! Best stay friends I think !