Blowjobs...how often do you do it?

[ScottishStottie]

Curious to know what the 'normal' is in terms of frequency of giving blowjobs, and if you actually enjoy giving them??

For me, im not a big fan of giving them, but more out of laziness than anything else. Dp usually gets one when im on my period, although some months if its a bit heavier then my cramps are worse and i dont want to. So he maybe gets one every couple of months.

He would never say anything, but given how grateful and happy he seems when he does get one, i imagine he would like this to be more frequent.

Curious to know whether i am being lazy or whether its an acceptable amount? 😂

I actually find them comforting. Maybe l was deprived of a dummy as a kid. I once surprised a male friend when l asked him if l could, when l was upset over something. I’d had no previous sexual contact with him

This is literally the weirdest thing I have ever read on Mumsnet. Your friend must have been completely freaked out.

Rarely now. It takes DH forever to finish and he'll hold himself back to make it last because it's enjoyable.

For him.

Meanwhile I get terrible jaw ache, knee and back ache, I get tired of switching sodding hands and I'm constantly holding back throwing up because I have a really bad gag reflex. I really dislike them but will sometimes do it as a treat for him but quite honestly, if he wants something to go on for as long as humanly possible I really need something back for it. In the 16 years we've been together his mouth has been on me once. There's no reciprocation. So screw that.

I do need to have a discussion with him one day though and explain that women generally don't... finish.. through PIV alone too. Problem is, he's quite "meh" about sex. He does enjoy it but i think it's not a priority for him. I stopped initiating after the birth of our second child and we went for around 2 whole years without sex!

I would like to be more adventurous and actually be on the receiving end of extra attention sometimes but worry about rocking the boat.

Such a shame because other than that he's the best husband a person could wish for. Absolutely perfect everywhere else in my opinion.

I too find it wierd that you offered a male friend a blowjob because you were upset :s if you find sucking things comforting why not suck your thumb or something else - or does it have to be a cock???

Sorry for typos!!

Oh god I hate giving blow jobs! I mean, I don't mind as part of foreplay but omg that soapy/salty taste of semen in the mouth (not envy!).

DH loves giving oral but again we rarely have time for more than a quickie with two small kids!

We do spend more time on each other when we have a night away child free!

Thats messed up you gave a blowie cos you were sad. Thats using sex and male attention to mask things. Its not the sucktion itself its male attention and approval. You should really get help with that.

Didn't we all believe that we "should be having sex often". I have realised that was another way to control women.

Men - get a lot more from sex than women do. They are entering the body of another person. That is why men want sex more than women do. We, as women were told it is "normal" to be having lots of sex, that we should be having it every year.

That was not true. It is perfectly normal to go many years without sex.

Think, how many times did you have sex because you thought you should be having sex, and how many times did you have sex because you wanted to have sex.

Sex does a lot to a woman. I have read so many books that said women have forgotten how energetically powerful sex is l. That if they knew how much energy of the other person they took in, they would be very careful about who they had sex with.

Be aware of how powerful sex is. Only do it when you want to do it. If you do it because you feel pressured to it - this actually hurts your psyche very badly

@FeelinFagin why don't you ask him for oral sex?

I think it is weird that you are together for 16 years and you feel unable to ask him for oral sex

Pretty much every time we have sex as foreplay and very often we will just have oral (both of us, it's always reciprocated). Both enjoy oral, giving and receiving, as much if not more than piv

I am another one who will very happily go for five years without having sex

We do not need sex. We have been lied to and told that we do

Never, Dont like it. I think I did it a few times at the start. ( its been about 15 years together now) I don't want to recieve it either. Glad to read others feel the same about receiving it.

I too find it wierd that you offered a male friend a blowjob because you were upset :s if you find sucking things comforting why not suck your thumb or something else - or does it have to be a cock???

This!

Every time we have sex

@Annamaria14 It's silly but I feel like if I asked him, he'd comply because he's a lovely man and then I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it because I'd know was something that was potentially grossing him out. Okay, it's not silly, it's fucking ridiculous. That doesn't stop him enjoying blowjobs does it?

Why are people putting up with shit sex and no reciprocation?? My husband isn’t even allowed to take his trousers off till he’s made me orgasm at least once!

With the new man I am seeing, mainly as foreplay, he actively pushes me away as he doesn't want the sex to stop there, occasionally like once a month I'll just surprise him and do it till "completion" and expect nothing in return.

But that's normal for us right now, that could change, I don't think there is anything really as universal normal sex life. We are all individuals

I have read the whole thread.
Clear to see we are all so different.

Also makes me realise that some people feel they ought to tell others what they should and should not like/want etc.

Each to our own and if we are happy and patners happy with the amount and type of sex we have then all great.

Most times we have sex. Which isn't very often. But almost always just as foreplay. Easiest way to ensure enough lubrication! And I like it.

I think it’s been a couple of years. DH and I have been TTC for a several years, and he has a lower than average sex drive so it’s almost like we don’t want to waste a session where we could be having sex. Also, although he loves it, he feels bad asking for it since he doesn’t reciprocate. He told me near the beginning that he didn’t like giving oral, and I accepted his reasons. Our sex is great anyway so I don’t feel like I’m missing out too much...he’s never selfish. I don’t mind still doing it for him since I do enjoy it, to some extent.

We don’t do it as part of foreplay since a) he’s not keen on kissing afterwards, and kissing is important for me and b) I think he’s worried that he wouldn’t last as long for the main event.

I prefer giving them to actual sex. I'm perimenopausal, have numerous body hangups, etc. Plus size wise we're rather mismatched, to put it bluntly. He's...big.

So it's much easier and less faff than actual sex for me and he clearly enjoys it. And he's more than reciprocal when I'm in the mood.

Wow a lot more responses than i was expecting!

I dont dislike doing it, but cant say i like doing it either. I have a sensitive gag reflex and dp is quite big so get a sore jaw pretty quickly. But i think hes picked up on that so lets himself come quite quickly rather than holding it back.

I might start doing it as a bit of foreplay, usually our foreplay is just kissing and touching.

Dp does reciprocate probably about as often as he gets it which is fair, but im just not that big a fan. I find it difficult to relax while hes down there, as a pp said, i find it difficult to detatch from the thought that hes not having a very good time down there and that i need to orgasm as fast as possible. So obviously that thought and mindset stops any orgasm from happening at all!

We do not need sex. We have been lied to and told that we do

Actually I don't agree with that.

I very much think it is what works for you, deciding to be celibate is a valid choice, but deciding that you want an active sex life is also valid.

I enjoy giving blow jobs very much so it is a major part of our sex life.

When I feel like it. Sometimes I want to other times I can't be arsed

@FatalSecrets I agree.

I mean - if you want to have sex, that is good.

But if we don't want to have sex for years ar a time - that is also normal.

I think that many women are pressured to have sex, when In actual fact, they do not want it.

I definitely spent my twenties thinking "I should be having sex", and that to for a year without sex was not normal. Men all around me told me that it was not normal to go for long periods of time without sex. That there was something wrong with me, low sex drive etc. And I have heard men say it to other women. That is where the control was , that you were abnormal to go for long periods of time without sex.

As I have gotten into my thirties and I am more about what I want, not what men want, I see of course it is perfectly natural to go for years without sex. It basically boils down to - what you want , is what is right for you.

If you want sex - great.
If you don't want sex - do not ever do it to make some one else happy

@Muir23 rhinoplasty, they took part of the top bit and used it to make my nose a little wider.

@BruceWilllis OK, then I guess it depends on technique a bit too - I don't like anything down my throat (even those Corona tests look dreadful to me) so use my mouth only :) No ramming involved or I'd be off!

Do most people deep throat?

Men - get a lot more from sex than women do. They are entering the body of another person. That is why men want sex more than women do. We, as women were told it is "normal" to be having lots of sex, that we should be having it every year.
Depends from person to person, I'd say. I get a lot out of sex and would be sad if I only had it once a year, or had to stop altogether. I do it because I want it, whether a man is there or not :) but enjoy it more with a partner. I don't understand the difference you're making between penetrating and being penetrated? Is one better?