BDSM

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I’ve seen a few posts on AIBU recently that relate into BDSM practices and generally being incredibly rude to those who partake.

I am in a BDSM relationship with a new Dom. We’ve been together since July. At first we were vanilla but after some in depth discussion we realised we were both interested in similar kinks.

I am not being abused, I have no history of abuse or mental illness.
I really enjoy the company of my boyfriend outside of the bedroom, we look pretty normal. I just have a few kinks for pain & bondage that he is happy to indulge.

I’d be interested to know if there others who partake of these obviously very controversial activities?

I'm a sub. I was briefly in a Total Power Exchange with a bloke, but it soon got boring for me. He was really into inflicting pain when I wasn't really into that.

I mainly just like normal sex, maybe a bit rough, with a bit of being called names. Even within being a sub or being a sub there's a massive range of what individuals like. For instance I know someone who's a sub, but it seems to mostly be just fantasies of being cuckolded.

*or being a dom

How does bdsm work for you, when you have kids to worry about ?

Reading this thread as a single woman rather than someone in a relationship, and most of what's here doesn't quite map onto my situation, but I wanted to add a perspective for anyone else in the same boat.
I've known I was kinky for years but never really had a way to explore it safely while single — most of my dating had been on mainstream apps where mentioning any of this felt like a landmine, or worse, attracted exactly the wrong kind of attention. A while back I started using BDSM Nation, a kink-focused dating site, specifically because I wanted to meet people who already understood consent, negotiation, and aftercare as basics rather than things I'd have to explain from scratch. Flagging that connection upfront since I know unlabelled recommendations can read as a bit off.
It's made a real difference. Being upfront about limits, safewords, and what I'm curious about from the first conversation means I'm not spending months building up to "the talk" the way a lot of posters here describe doing with existing partners. It's also just nice to not be the only kinky person in the room — even a lot of the vanilla small talk on there comes with an unspoken understanding that nobody's going to flinch if the conversation turns.
I don't have any dramatic story — no dungeons, no scars, nothing like some of the more intense stuff further up this thread. Mostly it's been about finding people who take negotiation seriously and don't treat "pain and bondage" as a red flag rather than a preference, like the OP said. So for anyone single and wondering how you even start looking for this without wading through months of incompatible matches — that's what worked for me, for what it's worth.

been in a number of D/S relationships , attended many socials , munches
large friendly community
mainly soft BDSM
it's a lot of fun and spices up a relationship
no judging please