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I am giving up on orgasms

2 replies

Mustnamechangeforthis · 05/07/2018 13:14

NC for obvious reasons, as this is VERY personal (and a bit embarrassing!).

So essentially the issue is that I find so so hard to have an orgasm, unless I am giving it to myself through masturbation. I have had quite a few sexual partners, some of them in LTR, others in more of an occasional capacity, but my difficulties with orgasming are frankly always there. I am getting to a point where I am honestly thinking to give up on it (I am 29 btw!).

Orgasm during intercourse doesn't even remotely feel like a possibility. Don't get me wrong, penetration is enjoyable and everything, but it does not even bring me close to orgasming. Literally a million miles away.

Orgasming with clit stimulation (with a partner) has happened a few times in the past, but it is very rare and I generally find that it takes me so long that I don't even try IYSWIM. Also the orgasms that I get with a partner are quite underwhelming, not as strong and enjoyable as the ones I get with masturbation. And it is such a faff that I'd rather just enjoy the "sex situation" without even thinking of my orgasm (or lack thereof!).

Having talked to a few friends, I know I am not alone in feeling this way about female orgasms.

Anyone else out there? Is it weird that I am giving up on having an orgasm with a partner? Why is it so bloody hard for some women to have an orgasm??

OP posts:
Mustnamechangeforthis · 05/07/2018 15:21

Anyone?

OP posts:
Nuffaluff · 05/07/2018 17:36

Apparently orgasms are 80% in your head. It’s about being relaxed and letting go and getting into the zone.
I’m ten years older than you and it’s only relatively recently that my orgasms have become a reliable occurrence during sex with DH. I needed to develop the confidence to tell him exactly what I wanted. Before that, I sometimes had one, but mostly didn’t.
My orgasms are intense solo and during PIV, but in a completely different way. On my own, it’s purely physical. With DH, they are more like full body orgasms and are strongly tied to my emotions.
If I ever struggle to orgasm in the future (maybe due to menopause possibly?), then I will suggest using my vibrator during PIV.
Perhaps you could try that?

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