I suppose I just want to know if I'm alone in my thinking..
I've just launched myself back into online dating and in every contact I make, the talk soon gets very suggestive. But the thing is, is me that starts it. When we meet, it usually results in some kind of heavy petting or more and I guess I set that expectation quite early on.
Now don't get me wrong, I am happy with the way things go as I find the older I get, the less I am worried about what society may or may not think of my actions. I don't think it damages my self worth etc but I do worry sometimes that I may not be normal.. I also have extreme tastes and find that sometimes, alternative dating sites have a much more honest approach as sex is high on the agenda.
I am loving dating and every new one carries that little spark of what if.. I am looking for a relationship but one in which my needs will be met and if the sex is rubbish, why waste my time?
Having spent a good many years in an almost sexless marriage maybe I'm just making up for lost time?
I have a young daughter too and she is kept well away from anything I may be up to and I ask myself how I would feel if, in 20 years time she engages in similar behaviours. And then I think, actually, if she is safe and happy then that would be her prerogative.
So maybe I'm just looking for validation? Maybe I do care how society as a whole will judge me.
If you are still reading then I'd be interested in others thoughts on this..