What happens if they fail Y12

[Shinyredbicycle]

My ds scraped through GCSEs by the skin of his teeth, athough has just failed maths for the third time. Very close to a 4 - he panicks in exams and leaves early despite being given extra time for to SEND.

He started sixth form doing 2 BTechs and 1 'A' level. I wanted him to look at extended Btech in the subject that he loves and excells in (drama) but he absolutely refused to consider going to a college. I did get him to an open day earlier this year which he stormed out of.

He has just found out that he received a U in a drama exam (he had prepared, just can't do exams), and a U in one of the modules in his other Btech. He's expecting to get a U in the 'A' level subject as well - likely, as he only had a go at answering half the questions.

I contacted the school early summer to say I was concerned about him and was reassured that he was doing fine. Obviously, that wasn't the case, and I've contacted the school today to see what his options are.

He's convinced that he won't be allowed to go into Y13. Ybh, that would be completely understandable from the school's perspective, but what then for him? He won't be able to get a job without a 4 in maths and I do not want him sitting at home with his self-confidence and self-esteem getting lower and lower.

Can anyone offer any advice or guidance please? Especially if he continues to refuse to engage with the idea of any sort of college course.

TIA

Just to add, ds has been asking about an assessment for ASD/ADHD for some time (on and off). His dad received an autism diagnosis a few years ago and ds certainly has traits, although so do a hell of a lot of the population.

He was assessed by an ed psychologist when he was 10 which was when his visual processing difficulties were diagnosed. No ND identified, although that was a while ago. Years of eye exercises and special glasses have helped a lot and he is still under a specialist optometrist.

I spoke with the SENCo about this a year ago, who has unfortunately been on long-term sick for most of the academic year. I've had no joy finding out whether there is a substitute tbh.

My approach with ds has been to think through about what difference a diagnosis would make. He would be entitled to extra time in exams, to use a laptop etc but he already has those adjustments and DOESN'T BLOODY WELL USE THEM. He will not accept mine (or anyone's) help with organising himself, study techniques etc. I dragged him kicking and screaming through his GCSEs but he just says 'no' now to any 'interference' from me.

I don't know. We've been round and round in circles with this for years now. Maybe I should speak with ds about going to the GP.

DS needs a plan. I think the bottom line in terms of his education is the maths. I would go for job/volunteering/maths and tutor. If he won't entertain college and school sounds unsupportive then you need some things that need keeping to. I would also consider a job coach or mentor, CV, job applications, level 2 apprentiship. I don't wish to sound harsh but you do seem to be making excuses for him - lack of exam technique, possible diagnosis and so on. I guess its the stage that you are all at - you might feel differently in Feb next year when he is still refusing to move forward.

If he’s asking, I would take it seriously. He clearly knows there is something affecting his ability to do well in exams. My DS is much younger but he has AuDHD and he is good at maths but also struggles with the word based questions. Fortunately for him this has been identified in year 4 so we can work on them. For an ADHD child sometimes extra time in exams can be the worst possible thing as it means extra time to have to sit still and focus when they are already struggling to focus. I see this a lot in my students. A lot get supervised rest breaks but actually for them a supervised movement break is what is needed as rest breaks usually mean they still have to sit at their desk in silence!

Someone will have had to take responsibility for SEND at his college so you need to ask but you can also try going through the GP, see if they offer right to choose pathway as he may be seen quicker.

I know understandings of ADHD have changed, but 7 years ago when he was assessed, it was very much 'ADHD would have shown itself at aged 4/5.' The world has got much faster since then and I don't think teenage brains cope well with the overload of information that they receive. One of his adjustments is a supervised break away from his desk, but he doesn't use it. It's very frustrating.

I will speak with him about going to the GP. Yes, he does need a plan and it needs to be one that he comes up with (with support). We need to see what, if any, his options are at school and what ideas he has. He does seem to have grasped that he needs Grade 4/L2 FS maths. Whether that will translate into the obvious course of action ie studying for an exam, remains to be seen.

I know he has said no to college, but is it worth contacting them, explaining the situation and send issues, and seeing if you can have a personal meeting and tour around.

Not sure if it is an option, but may be less overwhelming that the normal welcome evening, and can be focussed on what your son needs to know.
Good luck.

Thanks.

Quick update. Head of sixth form kindly got back to me, assuring me that ds will be allowed into Y13.

As I suspected, ds saying that he isn't going back was a way to jump before he was pushed (as he thought he would be).

I replied to the Head with questions re: resitting BTech modules, what was his other Y12 exam result etc. Pointing out that this will be his last year of school and I would like him to leave with some qualification, which is looking far from certain at the moment.

HoY has agreed to meet with me and ds next week. We need to discuss how to get him through maths, and if there are any one year courses he could study and drop the 'A' level.

I know that the 'best' thing for him would be to start Y12 again at a college and do an extended BTech in performing arts, but he won't. So trying to find some way for him to get at least maths grade 4 nd drama, have structure to his week, do some things that he's good at and socialise.

Would be happy to pay for him to do the L2 FS, but no point unless he is motivated.

Mentioned making GP apt, ds non-plussed.

Thanks again. I'm exhausted with this worry.

Has he got an EHCP? If not, its not too late to get one and that will allow him to continue in education (on a suitable course) past 18 or 19.

No EHCP. His needs can be met through standard SEN support. If he would accept the support on offer.