Working Parents - What do you do for childcare once your child starts year 7?

[caramelchic]

My child is starting Year 7 in September and I’m wondering how other working parents manage the period after school.
At primary school I’ve always had after-school club/provision, but I’m assuming this is much less common at secondary school. Obviously they’re becoming more independent at this age, but 11 still feels quite young to be coming home and being alone for several hours, particularly when they’ve only just started secondary school.
For those who work until 5/5.30pm or later, what did you do when your child first started Year 7?
Did they come straight home and stay by themselves, go to after-school clubs, go to a relative/childminder, or did you change your working arrangements?
Also, did you find that your secondary school offered much in the way of after-school activities or supervised provision?
Interested to hear what worked for other families, especially during that first year.

Clubs, our school offers a variety every day. Being rural also helps as public transport home is about 1 hour. Leaving school just after 4, home by 5:30.

Our high school offers a lot of different clubs and also a generic 'homework' club which is a supervised space for an hour or so after school

We were lucky in that our working arrangements were very flexible. I was always home 2/5 days a week and the other 3 I’d be home about an hour tops after them , we’d leave in the morning at the same time so I’d lock up. We got a key safe so they could let themselves in without the worry of losing house keys and thats been very useful for all of us.

Most school libraries are open later so she could head there to do homework before heading home.

Clubs (all free, unlike primary school) and a homework club run by 6th formers until 5pm.

DD will come home by herself when she starts in September. Although we took her out of wrap around care at Easter so she has had the last term of Y6 as practice to iron out any issues. She lets me and DH know when she's home, gets herself a snack and cracks on with homework/reads/watches TV.

She's usually alone until 5/5.30 so a couple of hours after school. She says she enjoys the peace and quiet! It's not every day though. DH works from home a day or two a week so he's there, but working, on those days. She'd be fine if it was every day though.

Caveat - we live in a very small town. I might feel differently if we lived in a big city.

If you're worried, secondary schools will have loads of clubs running after school, although they probably won't start for the first couple of weeks and may only run until 4/4.30.

Mine had to travel home from school. It took them both about 30 minutes to 45 minutes to travel home.

they both had to ring me at work and let me know they were home

then I got home about 5:45

some afternoons there were clubs on at school so they’d stay for thise and get home later.

i didn’t consider being at home for less than 2 hours an issue at 11 years old, my youngest was nearly 12

Our secondary has homework club available in the library until 4:30, but the school service buses have all left by that point, so no good unless you live within walking distance or are on a public bus route.

Mine will travel home. That will take it to about 4pm.

One of us will be home between 5pm and 5:30pm.

At 11 she can get a bus independently then survive at home for 60-90 minutes.

Door key and a mobile phone!

I'm in Scotland so schools are already back. It all seems to be going smoothly (despite my anxiety!)

You’re leaving it a bit late to think about!
Our school has after school clubs on every day until 5.15pm, so mine chose all the ones they wanted to do (various sports clubs, choir etc). That left one day for them to let themselves in and sort themselves out until we got home.

Nothing. We had no options so they had to manage. Eldest is super organised and capable and then for the younger ones they had an older sibling at home. They didn't get in until 4pm from the bus and then one of us was home by 5.30, so it wasn't even very long. I think I arranged to finish early for the first week and that was it

I agree 11 is young to be left in the holidays for entire days but think by Y7 that 2 hours after school (say half 3 to half 5) is really not long at all for them to loll around the house. I suppose the issue has perhaps been slightly exacerbated by secondaries having very short lunch breaks and therefore finishing very early. I thought you were going to say you got in a lot later than 5.30 though.

Yes, mine don’t finish until 4 then get the bus home which takes until 5pm so even without after school activities they’re not home alone long anyway!

Most secondary schools allow kids to stay in the library after school or there’s clubs, though other dc just go home. Mine used to go to the public library until 4.30 when I finished (worked opposite library)

I was a teacher when my dc were this age so I was able to manage my day and be home by 4.30 or so.

Childcare for 11yos is not usual. As others say, library or clubs at school will help. But most NT 11yos will be fine coming home, making a snack, doing HW etc.

Is your dc used to that kind of independence @caramelchic ? You are indeed leaving it a bit late to think about it but if they are not usually left alone or going out by themselves, there's a couple of weeks to start.

Secondary school is a great way to start being independent!
they can of course sign up for clubs etc that they are interested in for a couple of days a week to lessen the time they are alone at home, however they will probably be very tired with the transition gor the first couple of terms and clubs may not start straight away anyway.
use the next couple of weeks to start leaving them alone for a couple of hours and getting the ground rules for being alone in the house set up. It will probably do them the world of good learning to be a bit more independent.

The first few weeks we tried to make sure one of us was at home, mainly for being able to discuss their day and tell us any worries as they found it hard at first. After a month they had to do one day a week letting themselves in and on their own for 3/4 hours. They got in a good routine of getting a snack, watching a film etc until we got home. I was surprised how quickly they got used to it as they don’t like being on their own usually.

Hi OP, if you haven't given your child much independence until now, use the last couple of weeks to focus hard on the most important stuff.

The journey to and from school. Do some practices. Talk through what they would do in various situations (lost bus pass/train cancelled/dodgy bloke/lost door key/school library shuts early/club doesn't run).

Access to money. DD has ApplePay on her phone now but she used to use a GoHenry card so she could buy a snack (at least once she had to use it to buy a train ticket when she forgot her pass).

At least one local friend/relative/neighbour she could call in the case of an emergency like lost keys. How will she record their number. How will she contact them (remembering that some schools are totally banning phones now).

Safety inside the house. What can she do and not do. Can she cook something basic. Practice. What does she do if someone comes to the door she doesn't like the look of/fire/other problem.

For anyone reading this with a younger child, holidays in safe places like small caravan parks are the ideal time to practice a lot of this stuff plus travelling home independently from school should be practised in year 5.

Great post from @Phineyj with some excellent advice. I agree - small steps towards independence need to start earlier than a lot of ppl on MN seem to think.

A NT 10yo can take a safe walk to school by themselves – or walk to the local shop or to post a letter. They can be left at home for a short period – building up to longer.

@caramelchic you may already have started this, it's not clear from your OP.

Like every other parent where I live, and since my own childhood, they were given a key and they got on with it. The walk home was about 30 minutes, then one of us was usually home about 2 hours later.

My own school has a library and homework clubs for kids to go to, but the dc school had nothing.

We did clubs as others have said but also had a sixth former from a diff school come over as tutor / study buddy / company/ cooked together for the one day a week I worked much later-8/9pm. worked well

They walked home and were by themselves for a couple of hours. A decent walk too, we live semi rurally, so partly down a country lane with no footpath. We had one neighbour who was out at work too, and no family in the county. And DH and I worked an hour away. They managed. In fact they started this from the latter end of year six in preparation.

@caramelchic Can you remember what your own parents did when you were that age and how you felt about it?

I started secondary school in 1983, got home about 4, let myself in with my key, and was alone for an hour until about 5.15pm when my mum got home from work. I used to raid the fridge, watch tv, and start my homework. However, I remember feeling lonely, and "raiding the fridge" sometimes became "binge eating".

It's a vivid enough memory that I was determined to be home for my own kids at the same age. I managed this through a combo of part-time hours and working from home. It negatively impacted my career, but that was my choice. I know I was lucky to have that choice, as many parents don't.

There is a supervised homework club at my school. Kids can play games on computers or dobtgeir homework. It is only an hour though.