Plan B - not sure what to do ?

[mamatomany]

Bit of background DD1 is a funny character, very happy in her own company, likes to have friends but not bothered about seeing them outside of school etc.
So she didn't get her first choice of state secondary school, the one she's been offered is completely unacceptable so my plan B was to keep her in the private school she's been attending for the past 2 years.

All fine accept she doesn't want to.
There are a few minor issues, it's a boys school that's recently started accepting girls, so 10 girls in the year, of which some are leaving and 3 different ones are joining in year 7.
She has had some run ins with one particular girl, who nobody seems to like so it's not DD in this particular case but even so DD keeps saying she was looking forward to a fresh start.
I feel like she had a fresh start 2 years ago, how many fresh starts does a person need ?
I like this school, my other 2 children are reasonably happy (I don't think my children are ever going to "like" school), it has a good academic record, the other parents are all very nice.
Would I be wrong to say you are going end of the matter ?
Or should be start looking at other options outside of the area ?

Hi, tbh I can understand where your DD is coming from - at 16 the only way I caould study the A level options I wanted at school was to go to the boys school for part of the week, and I was very unhappy with that option (was quite shy then )

Is there a different independent school you could consider? Or could you put her name on the waiting list for the one state school you like?

We could go and look around the other inconvenient options but i'd rather not if i'm honest, am thinking she could move for 6th form if it's that much of an issue for her but actually i think she should be bloody grateful for the opportunity and be glad i'm not sending her to the sink school.
Of course she's not going to agree with that

If she is moving up to senior school it will feel quite different from the prep. New head, teachers, new students, uniform and more a grown up feel to the whole place. Senior school is a fresh start for everyone. If she has done well and been happy up till now I would feel inclined to leave her there. Maybe review the situation at 13. If possible, let her have a look at the sink school and she might see how lucky she is.

The worst years for girls learning with boys are 11-14 ish, that is why some schools operate a diamond model which separates the sexes for these years. Maybe this is part of what she is trying to tell you. In a truly mixed school there is enough other girls, for girls to still leanr well and not be intimidated. However there are few girls at your daughter's school, and at least one of them is a problem (read "Queen Bees and Wannabes" to see how awful this could be).
Have you put her on the waiting list for the good State school? Are you going to appeal? I really think you need to listen to your daughter. What might suit your other children might not be right for her.

I have a friend whose eldest son got into a top boys school, and thrived. His younger brother followed him, and hated it. Eventually after 2 1/2 years his parents listened and move him to an OK state school, he blossomed.

Completely unacceptable to you or to her? Is that the one she wants to attend or does she not have a plan?

Why don't you let the school know how she is feeling but tell them you are happy but could they make her feel more engaged?

It's unacceptable to us both balia we looked around it together and both agreed it was no good.
I am in the process of appealing for the school she wants and you never know I guess but i don't want to be "school-less" come September, which I currently am :(

they are going on a PGL which might bond them all together in a few weeks time, i guess that's make or break for her with the girls in her year so fingers crossed.