School parent council

[skyeandrainbow]

I will have anxiety everytime I have to drop off my child in school party ( spring, halloween, christmas).

I have an experience with a parent who I thought treated my daughter wrongly . We attended a party and saw her grab my daughter roughly. me and my husband was far away the party area. But I’m watching my daughter from a tiny window. And we had eye contact. She saw me, watching her! And seem alerted. By the time they are walking out the party area I came in and take my child. In short I said goodbye and thank you to the parents of the birth celebrant. ( i didnt say anything 😭) I told my husband but ask me why didnt I say anything! And I said I don’t want to make scene! Just dont know how to justify what I witness. After that I couldn’t sleep for few days and reported it to school ask advice. ( I know they can’t do anything about it as it happened outside school premises) but I told the head teacher that I was not comfortable that my daughter is in the school with other parents alone as i witness something not good. ( told her the story) she said , sometimes it is better to leave it that way and don’t need to do anything .I said don’t want her to feel I let her down not doing anything about it. And teacher assure me my daughter will be in good hands. It was months of personal battle seeing the parent in school run. Then I have move on and felt relieved. Then here come another school celebration , my daughter attended and time to pick her up. All kids are out and I’m waiting for her and another parents who i know where surprised that his son is out and my daughter is still inside the party venue. So I went forward to ask where in my daughter ? And guess who brought her out, the mum who i witness grabbing her roughly in the previous party 😭 she said sorry though. So i ask my daughter right away why was she still inside, who is she with , she said she didn’t the party is over.

The parent is the vice president of the parent council .

so please am i over reacting or any advice . This happened when my Daughter is in primary one to preset p2 .

Yes i think youre overreacting
In the first instance did you take your child away before the party even started? Thats very rude to the party organiser.

No i didnt take her away . We assume that party is over. As they are queuing out the venue. I went to my child and ask her what had happened. And then the group is gone. I didnt know where they went as it is a busy venue. 2 party is going on that day and other soft play user. And not familiar of school parents faces. Was looking around and didn’t see them . So end up planing to go home. And that is when we saw them on the other side of the theme park. And I said goodbye to the birthday celebrant parents nicely. We exit politely. My daughter join them in soft play party time and eat meal with them( the grabbing happen after meal ) queuing out the soft-play area.

you’re so called “party organiser” didn’t advice us there will be another ride to do. Will that even matter? to me my priory that moment is my child. So are you saying it is acceptable for another mum to grab your child badly? ( intentionally) And not say anything. And worry more about the party organiser? I think if you have a child they matter most. It just give me anxiety everytime I think about it , flash back . Until now. As i remember her face and my daughter. And worst I see her everyday in school run. Cant approach her. I ask school and said don’t need to deal with it. I felt I fail my daughter standing up for her.

All parents can go to the parent council and parent councils have chairs and vice chairs not presidents.

The problem is your description of the initial incident sounds very vague and not on school property so it is difficult for school to fo anything about it. What did your dc say about it?

In terms of school parties: ask about safeguarding arrangements. The parent council and school both have important safeguarding responsibilities including PVG check requirements.

Join the parent council/PTA and get involved then. Then you can be at the parties too helping out!

I think you've taken the first incident out of proportion and youve judged the other parent without asking them about it.

Your child doesnt seem to be distressed so why are you?

I didnt Judge her i witness it ☺️ and I know what I see and she know what she did. I went to party organiser or event venue and ask for the report during the party for cctv camera. I have not recieve a feedback about it yet. And I guess police will be involve . I wanted to join the parents council and about to submit my application but then Realize the one handling it, is relative of the said mother. And it put me off. I myselve have fear of involving myself knowing they know each other. So i back out.

I guess the child won’t be distress as she taught that is where she need to follow.

“My child doesn’t mean distressed” and I guess having pvg doesn’t mean they won’t do anything wrong with your kids . I think you heard stories about carers in the news and kids realised later on what they experience is not right.

I know from the start the school can’t do anything as it happened outside school activity / property. But decided to ask advice to the head teacher where im coming from, why im so worried of the child. At the Same time there will be party that season in the school and I wanted to be sure who will be involve in preparing / during the party as i won’t let my child join the activity. but then teacher reassure that parents councils are not involve in preparation of the said activity. They ask if I know the person and or name but choose not to say her name but I said she in the parent council. ☺️
this is a roller coaster ride , starting school in primary and having this feeling is not good. I hope no parents experience it.

You need to move on.

People are being unpleasant to you here. I would volunteer to help at any party this person may be at going forward, and tell the school in writing that your child must not be alone with this person for any reason during the school day-reading help etc.

I do think you've overreacted. Your child was not upset by the initial incident which you perceived was deliberate and intentionally nasty - it might have been, equally it might not have been. And this minor incident has caused you such distress it stopped you sleeping?

I can understand why the Head was confused about why you approached her. And she can do very little about something which happened well away from school.

Parent Council members are not going to be in school helping with reading. They will all have a PVG. It's a bit of a leap to assume that everyone who is on the Parent Council, PTA or similar is a secret child abuser, they just haven't been caught yet. That is not a healthy way to think.

Even if there are parents helping in schools with discos or parties they will never be in the position of being alone with a child. Rule one of running these sorts of events. Unless you think this person is going to assault your child in front of an audience of parents and children.

They ask if I know the person and or name but choose not to say her name but I said she in the parent council.

So what are you expecting the head teacher to do? Ban every member of the PC?

On the say-so of one person, over an incident witnessed only by her, a year ago?

That is exactly my point. She was able to do it infront of me far away. ( thought no one will see her) . While the other parents is there too, while they are busy looking after other kids. And obviously I’m not duff not to know parents are not there to teach my kids reading. I know what parents council role. And yes this is an issue giving me stress fear of going to school and leaving my child in the school everytime there is an ito itry with parents involve. And that is the reason I went to school and tell them my worries. And at least give me heads up and re assure she is with another teacher . How clear do you want me to tell you.

Yes . A year ago and party is on going in the school . And obviously Vp parent council is involve in every event . Imagine my stress living my child there. Another yes. It’s only me who saw it. No one saw it other parents watching their own kid. Thank God. I saw it and she know, I witness it. And it show her reaction after the incident. I just hope this won’t happen to any mum that feel so helpless and not heard.

🤣 no! To tell me if there will be parents involve and I won’t bring my child in the party and at least have a teacher know the situation and watch her. ( teachers availability) I’m the one adjusting . But sometime even I feel not to let my child join the party, I feel selfish. I don’t want her to feel left out . And my child learn to share now and be aware what is happening.

So a year ago a parent was seen at a distance to handle your child ‘roughly’ but you didn’t confront the parent then, or speak to your child, or anyone else, or contact the police. Now a year later you tell the head you saw something but you won’t name the parent, and you won’t attend PC or volunteer at school parties yourself.

The answer is simple - don’t take your DC to any parties.

I don't understand what she did exactly? I can't quite follow your writing.

The parent council members don't interact with the children at school, they just attended meetings as far as I am aware so you don't need to worry about that.

If you're uncomfortable leaving your child at the parties, then can you ask to stay at future parties?

I understand. I don’t even expect how many of mum indenial of this kind of stories. That was my fear , approaching the mum during the incident in the party, and letting the teacher know the name of parents involve. I will be judged as if this is not possible to happen. And I’m not making up the story. I surely wanted to get the pvg to join as I want to be there for he during event . But currently having younger child and usually no available time. I already told the head teacher that we are planing to move place and transfer our child another school. And now my child made friends so I’m somehow feel less fear .

im surely not making up the story. Sometimes we are all blinded. I was excited for my child to be in school but sometime were not lucky to have a good crowd around us.

You haven't even spoken to her, your DD wasnt upset, yet you've turned this into a huge issue, involving the school. Why can't you volunteer for these events, it might put your mind at rest?

What was the context of the initial grab? Could she have been stopping your DD doing something stupid like climb up a slide a kid is coming down. Maybe the look was for you, rather than your DD, for leaving her to deal with so many kids and not helping.

It's in the past, you don't never even asked her about it and your DD seems fine at school events. Instead of trying to fix that panic by going after her, perhaps learn what you could do differently if it happens again, to stop this escalation. You could help, watch your own DD, speak up...

But you haven’t taken any steps other than make vague defamatory accusations to the head against every member of the PC.

@IdleGossipthe parents that volunteer for the PTA are generally also the ones volunteering to help in school with reading etc.

yes I’m uncomfortable to bring and leave my child alone in school event. Were invited to classmate birthday party. during that time i witness another mum ( who is the VP of parents council now ) she was mean to my daughter during the birthday party
.( grab her) Any mum,wont like to see her child in that position. I myself wont do to anyone’s child. During that time I didn’t confront her as I dont know how to approach her and instead leave the birthday party and said goodbye to the birthday celebrant mum, we exit nicely. It is stressful and surely I know school can’t do anything but I forwarder my concern about my child to the head teacher l . I don't want her alone and be supervise . I have to explain it to the headteacher where im
coming from why i sudden have some request for my child. So it is not “special treatment. And if the request is not granted I won’t let her join the party . Imagine I confront her , and making scene judging her . My child won’t do stupid thing like one say here , claiming etc. They are just queuing to head outside and grab her from the shoulder to line up !? I dont think it is right. And even how far or near you will know the difference. And she saw me looking !☺️

Thanks! good to know. We were not informed about it so probably not happening in our school. . All I know parents council do assist additional activity / program for the school. Helping hand . And pvg one has more interaction with kids even going with them outside the school. ( which i wont let my child go). 😊

That is my action. Not to speak to that mum as i just don't know how and I’m emotionally and mentally not ready. but then what I did instead is tell the head after 3 days that im concern about my child safety . If parents involve in school activity let me know and I won’t bring her in.

So the mum directed your child by the shoulders? And you have overreacted and contacted the school with a vague accusation giving no names and wont let your child attend school events? You need help with your anxiety i think and need to calm down and put this incident into the past where it belongs.

ive read this umpteen times and still not sure what the actual issue is. When is your child ever going to be alone in school with a PC member?