Want to start a family... live closer to work or parents!?!

[Rlar105]

Hi all,

I was wondering if I could please get some advice from all the parents out there...
We are moving house and are deciding between two locations.
We are about to start a family and I work at a few hospitals around London.
The first location is ten minutes from my Mum, who doesn’t work and would be able to help babysit, but it’s an extra 20-30 minutes from work for myself. We would also be able to afford a slightly bigger place here!

The second location is slightly closer to work, but is about 25 minutes from my parents house. We could afford a smaller house here but it’s a nicer location (Guildford!)

We think living closer to Mum would be more helpful with young children, but I’m wondering if it’s more important for me to get home from work quicker!

Any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated!

Xxxxx

But if your Mum is likely to be looking after your dc, you won't get home quicker, as you'd have to travel out to her and then travel back home, surely ?

Neither is that long a distance to either mum or work really. I’d just go for the one you like best

You might have more joy outside of the rural living section.

I'm not familiar with Guildford but given you work in London I'm guessing it's not very rural.

An advantage of being nearer your parents is that you can drop DC off as early as you need to, whereas nurseries/childminders there will be set hours so it might be tighter.

I think it comes down to how often your parents are prepared to help out with childcare - if your DM has committed to helping out regularly and you can see that working out, then I'd choose the place nearer your parents.

Obviously you might not be staying there forever, but it's easier to have some family near to where DC are at nursery and school in case they ever get sent home ill, or so GPs can go to reading time/assemblies, etc when you can't because of work.

I wouldn't be moving closer to your mum on the assumption that she will help with childcare/babysitting. There are numerous threads on mn with regard to parents/in-laws promising the sun, moon and stars when it comes to childcare, but delivering none of those promises. If it's a case you'd appreciate her babysitting for an odd night out, then her living 25 minutes away shouldn't be a problem if she's willing to stay overnight with you or have the child to stay at her house overnight.

Good point! I believe she would come to us on the days she needed to babysit though

Thanks all, I think 25 minutes shouldn’t be a problem really! Might be better to live in a preferable location.

I think you’re right about committing to babysit and then not being able to aswell!

What about decent schools, I would be looking at that as my first priority. You are more likely to movie jobs than your child is to move schools.

There are good schools in both locations actually! We are actually in a new situation now. We ended up selling our flat right before the Covid-19 hit and moved into my parents for the interim, but now for obviously reasons we can’t choose a house and move. So we are pregnant and living with my parents with more time to think about where to move to!

Depends on how much your mum will be looking after the kids - my mum is literally a godsend and I couldn’t hold down a job without her! She does the wrap around after school and childminder - being 10 mins away is amazing x

Just thought I'd update you all! We opted to be 5 minutes from my parents and it was the best decision I've ever made... my Mum pops round at the drop of a hat to help me! :)

Congrats, OP, glad it's worked out so well for you