to have an orgasm with my DH. Been together over 20 years but had big no-sex periods due to my ill health.
Bit long and complicated so bear with me.
Never had the big O until I was quite middle aged- just didn't happen, even though I had a gorgeous sex therapist for a boy friend once- I must be hopeless!
Managed to achieve it with DIY a while back, though it always takes me a good 30 minutes or more.
Get close during sex but never let go enough. (This is all clitoral by the way- not expecting vaginal Os.)
DH is very patient and loving. BUT he is also a very quiet person and I find that a bit inhibiting. I just can't let myself go as I feel embarrassed. If he was a bit more open and communicative- verbally- I wonder if it would help? I feel embarrassed about grunting and groaning and showing pleasure as he is so very quiet. I think the reason he doesn't talk is that he afraid of distracting my concentration! I don't feel we are "together" IYSWIM.
My BIG question is- do I feel inhibited because of how he is behaving-or is it that I simply haven't learned how to relax enough?
On a deeper level we have communication problems due to his quietness and inability to talk to me, especially about anything emotional. This has sometimes brought us near divorce and although I know he dearly loves me, I often feel "lonely" with him, and am constantly assessing whether he is right for me, in lots of ways.
So I don't know if we are simply a "bad fit" mentally and sexually, or if it's me who hasn't learned how to have an O with a man!
Help me ladies.