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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

sex dilemma

205 replies

sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:11

Hi everyone,

I am a married parent so is simply so lonely. I met a married man recently and his is just adorable. He listens to me, is affectionate, is a gentleman. We talked about our lives and our partners and both miss a sex life. We both want the same thing- to enjoy each other maybe once a week, but remain in our relationships. He is unselfish and just wants to satisfy me, which is so refreshing and new.

I am just so tempted to say yes and enjoy an afternoon of love making. It has been so long and and i dearly want to be help and to experience some fun. He has offered to make it all about me- I can control him and use him for my pleasure.

He really is a sweetie and a gentleman and I just want him so badly. Am I a bad girl for wanting this so so much?

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 23/02/2010 00:17

Why can't you get sex from your own partner?

Fizzfiend · 23/02/2010 00:19

No you're not bad. But I am because I would say just do it. I'm going to be villified tho I'm sure.

Original poster
sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:20

he and i don't have a sex life and haven't for about 5 years. we are close and friendly and the marriage is good, but there is no physical side. this new guy just presses my buttons. we are due to meet for a walk tomorrow

OP posts:
JeremyVile · 23/02/2010 00:21

Yes.
You're a very naughty, dirty girl indeed. What you need is a damn good spanking...

Is that the sort of thing you were after?

BrahmsThirdRacket · 23/02/2010 00:22

Tell us about your marriage. I understand how you feel, but I personally don't at the moment because I am happy with my relationship. Why aren't you? It's only by looking at yourself and your marriage that you can work out what you really need, and how you might be able to get that from your own marriage rather than risk hurt to both your partners, or whether there is any point to you both being in your relationships.

ACretinoidPsychoanal · 23/02/2010 00:23

Why don't you turn it round.....

How would you feel if your DH shagged another bird? and met her every week to do so?

hobbgoblin · 23/02/2010 00:23

Bad girl?

Come on

Original poster
sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:25

the danger is that i go 5, 10 15 yrs without sex, and that makes me so upset. i am 35 and i will only be young and thin for so long. he makes me feel good, and so i just want to seize the moment.

i emailed him what i want and he emailed me what he wants. he is not being selfish, and has offered to play my role play.

it just seems so good and what i need right now

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 23/02/2010 00:25

I think you should sort out your own marriage rather than wreck someone else's.

You know the answer to your 'dilemma', you just want us to tell you it's OK.

If your relationship can't be fixed, end it, and find someone who is available.

hobbgoblin · 23/02/2010 00:25

Sounds like you don't need or want a sweetie or a gentleman to me. You want a long hard, down and dirty fuck. So, pick someone else maybe?

electra · 23/02/2010 00:26

No, you are not bad.......but it will get more complicated. The more you shag him, the more there is the potential for one or both of you to fall in love.

sighofunrequitedlust · 23/02/2010 00:26

I find fizzfiend's post refreshing.

People do, you know, and quite often nothing bad comes of it.

But I don't think that's the mumsnet majority line.

GypsyMoth · 23/02/2010 00:27

Lol ....... You're going for a walk tomorrow??

You control yourself now, won't you??

Original poster
sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:27

do i don't want it to be dirty. i want to feel loved and special. and i don't want him to grab- i want to control the moment

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 23/02/2010 00:29

It's been sleeting. It will be muddy. Rethink the walk. And when you find that special place where you can get a taste of this man's sweetness, I suggest you on top if you want control. He may grab yer tits though so beware.

Original poster
sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:34

the deal over email was that i shaved for him and he would go down on me- no attention to be given to him.
so it is good for me and he has promised to go slow and i don't have to do anything for him.

am i just wrong to want this guy?

OP posts:
ACretinoidPsychoanal · 23/02/2010 00:35

Are you purposely bypassing my question then?

Just fuck him and be done with it.

Fuck your family and his eh.

JeremyVile · 23/02/2010 00:35

If this is real, and your dh is witholding sex long term then go for it, fuck it. or him rather. Dodgy ground though, it will get messy.

JeremyVile · 23/02/2010 00:36

Oh this is so a wind-up...

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 23/02/2010 00:37

Yes you are wrong. Now go away.

Original poster
sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:39

thanks for the sympathy! i am making a big choice here. my love life is important to me. i have cried about it, and have talked it through with friends. i do think it is time for me to have some fun.

OP posts:
ACretinoidPsychoanal · 23/02/2010 00:40

Split up with your DH then, go for an 'unattached' man you bloody daft git.

Why the fuck do you want to get involved with a married man, and you being married too???????

ItsGraceAgain · 23/02/2010 00:41

umm, Sophie: you rabbitted on about how sweet & gentlemanly the OM is, and how you want to feel loved not dirty etc ... and you're emailing each other with your sex fantasies and your "role-play".

So either you are a very confused lady, or you just want dirrty sex with a man who shares your kinks. He's no gentleman, that's for sure.

MN has already hated me for not thinking infidelity is worse than cannibalism - if you didn't sound so messed up, I'd say go for it.
But you do sound messed up.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 23/02/2010 00:41

Sympathy for you? You must be joking. Sympathy for your husband and children, yes - sympathy for his wife and children, yes.

Just go away.

Original poster
sophie69 · 23/02/2010 00:42

for exactly those reasons- both of us are married and both of us are safe. the relationships and kids stay; it is just a fun and loving afternoon of sex on the table here. no commitment. that's what seems so attractive

OP posts:
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