sex dilemma

[sophie69]

Hi everyone,

I am a married parent so is simply so lonely. I met a married man recently and his is just adorable. He listens to me, is affectionate, is a gentleman. We talked about our lives and our partners and both miss a sex life. We both want the same thing- to enjoy each other maybe once a week, but remain in our relationships. He is unselfish and just wants to satisfy me, which is so refreshing and new.

I am just so tempted to say yes and enjoy an afternoon of love making. It has been so long and and i dearly want to be help and to experience some fun. He has offered to make it all about me- I can control him and use him for my pleasure.

He really is a sweetie and a gentleman and I just want him so badly. Am I a bad girl for wanting this so so much?

[AnyFucker]

dignified, you are making me laugh

[EcoMouse]

x's bint wasn't a patch on me, naturally

She was, however, a decade younger.

She also had a wonky nose.

Oh no, my mistake, she 'developed' said wonky nose afterwards.

[AnyFucker]

pmsl !

[Karmann]

I discovered this site recently but today, after this, have decided that I can't open up here and talk to decent people about what I am going through - even though I see there are plenty of you out there.

In months to come the OP will change her name, alter her story a bit and ask for sympathy. There are no winners in this situation. The fall out is horrendous and the pain is beyond measure. As one poster said earlier there are some vile people around and 3 of them are on here today.

I am broken, I am lost, I am in pain - these things cause nothing but pain in the long run and what for - a few hours (if that) of pleasure. What a very selfish person you are.

Maybe you should charge for your weekly sex sessions then at least you would make some money too.

[dignified]

Why on earth would i have a problem with my self esteem Ruby?

I do not wish to be put at risk from a cheat, and nor do i beg for scraps from another womans marriage.

[Alouiseg]

I think that you would be getting some different replies if we were on a forum in France. In fact you probably wouldnt have bothered asking. You know what you are missing in your life and you're not getting it from your husband. He's reneged on his part of the deal. Id have some fun before its too late.

In fact i'd tell my husband what i was going to do first then waltz out of the door in my best frillies and a hollywood wax.

You only live once.

[AnyFucker]

karmann, you can, you can get support on here

OP's like this one are shite, of course, but they are the minority, and the support for them is very, very patchy

this OP is not real, karmann

have you started your own threa ? You really sound in need of some true and real sympathy....threads like these are best avoided in your situation (too upsetting for you..)

apologies if I have missed your story somewhere else x

[Karmann]

I haven't yet been able to post my story. It's far too raw at the moment.

You are so right that it is far too upsetting for me right now - I've been trying to cope for so long on my own and this today has put me back to square one. I've tried so hard to cope but now know that I can't anymore.

[EcoMouse]

Karmann, as with RL, there are people here who seem oblivious to how it can feel to be on the raw side of infidelity.

Some just don't care. It can be incredibly upsetting to see this dismissive perspective in action, particularly when everything is still raw.

MN can be a fantastic source of support and I can assure you there are many of us who can relate to how you are feeling, just from your posts on this thread.

Whether you stay or move on (I do hope you stay and allow those that can offer help to do so), please have faith that things will improve for you. I didn't believe they would when it happened to me but they did, in time.

[EcoMouse]

Karmann, as with RL, there are people here who seem oblivious to how it can feel to be on the raw side of infidelity.

Some just don't care. It can be incredibly upsetting to see this dismissive perspective in action, particularly when everything is still raw.

MN can be a fantastic source of support and I can assure you there are many of us who can relate to how you are feeling, just from your posts on this thread.

Whether you stay or move on (I do hope you stay and allow those that can offer help to do so), please have faith that things will improve for you. I didn't believe they would when it happened to me but they did, in time.

[dignified]

Karmen, just to echo what others have said. I hope you can post at some stage and get some support, the arseholery youve seen on here is very rare and definateley in the minority.

I couldnt speak about it for months without bursting into tears. Now i can activeley take the piss out of them both and i care a whole lot less as it was never about me.

If you dont feel you can post perhapds have a read of whenwillifeelnormals posts.

[Karmann]

Have copied all of whenwillifeelnormal's posts but not managed to read them yet - he hasn't fitted into the classic scenario. Can't believe I have got into such a state today. My H wants to stay with me and has, apparently, always wanted to.

I'm not making excuses for him but I do believe that he has suffered from PTSD for the past 25 years without addressing it. He was on the Sir Gallahad when it was bombed and witnessed some horrific sites, including dead friends.

I don't know how to carry on. I've tried so hard to come to terms with it. I have fallen apart completely today.

[AnyFucker]

have you any support in real life, Karmann ?

[AnyFucker]

would you like me to do a shout-out for wwifn ?...she will be happy to speak to you on here

[Karmann]

I've arranged to see a counsellor this week, worried though that he will tell me what I already know. I would like you to do a shout out but feel right now that I am beyond help. Sorry to sound so pathetic but have got myself really worked up today. Thanks for your support. Just lost it today.

[dignified]

I think sometimes men who do this fall into two catergories, those that are sorry and correct it and those that do not.

For me it was clear that deep down my EH was not sorry and instead blamed me as opposed to accepting any sort of responsibility.For that reason he is now the ex.

You say your H wants to stay, what do YOU want?

Im not very good at this really unless it involves taking the piss out of idiot men, but i assume you know that this is NOT about you ?

[AnyFucker]

ok, karmann

perhaps you could start your own thread in a few days ?

I don't want to push you, it sounds like you might not be ready x

and you are not pathetic

this Op was pathetic, not you

[Petitioner]

Karmann
I never meant to cause you pain

I meant to make Sophie sit up and consider what her selfish stupid deluded behaviour really is.

[posieparker]

Karmann, have you ever called the Samaritans? They are very calm, almost priest like, and will give you all the time and space you need to say whatever is on your mind.

[AnyFucker]

petitioner, I think you posted with the best of intentions

karmann will know that too, I think

[WhenwillIfeelnormal]

Karmann - The pain is still raw and horrifying at times, isn't it? I am profoundly grateful that when I joined MN a year ago and started my one and only thread, I only heard from compassionate, wise posters. I do remember a few months later though, seeing posts that seemed to open the wound again. Fortunately, these don't have the power to hurt me any longer - and that will one day be the case for you, I promise.

These days, OPs and respondents like the ones we've seen today make me irritated - and in the case of Victorine - strangely pitying. When it comes down to it, it must be horrible to be in marriages like theirs. It's a shame they lack the spine to get out of them and feel the need to raid other relationships, but I wouldn't swap lives with them for anything.

And you know, I've been pretty compassionate to women who've had affairs on these boards, just as I would to a man. It's actually not these posters' affairs that causes me irritation, but the selfishness and complete lack of empathy for the betrayed partners that astounds - and angers me. No humility about their views being offensive to others who might be going through the pain of betrayal right now, like you.

Karmann, the meltdown you're describing is so normal, honestly - we've all had those awful days. Others have been an enormous help to me on here and I don't want you to cut yourself off from that support because of a few idiots.

Can I suggest we leave this thread to the viles and perhaps start your own support thread? If the offending posters have any shred of compassion and humanity, they will stay well away.

[Karmann]

Petitioner you didn't cause me pain - I thank you for your post because it pointed out to her what the reality is. You made absolute sense.

Dignified - he is terribly sorry and aware of what he's done. I want him to stay too. Despite all this deceit we have continued to have a very good life. Borne out of guilt possibly or the fact that he can compartmentalise. Despite this, he's always been a great partner.

AnyFucker - maybe I will post when I am strong enough. I thank you for your support and compassion.

Posieparker - my mother is a Samaritan! How bizarre. She is a wonderful mum and I feel bad that I don't talk to her about this stuff because she is so supportive. She has seen me through so much crap that I don't want to put upon her anymore even though I know she feels rejected by me. It makes me sad.

[dignified]

Karmen your probably doing a lot better than you think you are.

I wont say what i did when i found out as ill sound like a loon, but it was very extreme to say the least and he,ll probably be wary on zebra crossings for the rest of his life amongst other things.

I spent the best part of a year struggling with it, made worse by him blaming me and denying any responsibility. Was really really shit.

I was a mess and would often come on here and rant and cry, i would often be in tears at the kindness shown to me by complete strangers .

And your not pathetic at all, i hope the counselling helps, mine was fab.

[Karmann]

WWIFN my concern is that I will be judged for my stupity over staying with him when his affair went on for so long. You are a true woman of wisdom and I admire you greatly, sadly borne out of experience.

It must be time to leave this thread and start my own but right now I really don't feel I am strong enough.

[Karmann]

Dignified. Doesn't feel like I am doing well today! He has never blamed me but has taken full responsibility for it himself. Doesn't stop the hurt though.