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Original poster

Younger wife for marital bliss

3 replies

foxytocin · 27/10/2009 08:26

a younger wife is the key to a successful relationship?

Do you agree or don't you? What has been your experience?

DH and I are exactly 5 yrs difference, on paper at least I am the brighter one, and neither of us had a previous marriage or co-habiting history.

It seems true for us so far after 11 yrs of marriage. We only dated for 4 months, were apart for 6 months. We were married a year after meeting each other.

OP posts:
Lavenderfleurs · 27/10/2009 08:49

I am not sure it depends on what you judge to be successful.

For example my inlaws married when she was 19 and he was 25. To my mind he was and always has been a controlling bully just like his son. However they are still married and she says she is happy and glad they stayed together, he has mellowed out now apparently. I do think that younger women can be more malleable in that they have less life experience by which to judge their situation. To my mind this is NOT a good thing.

My ex was the same as his father, I am older than him and while he tried to implement a lot of his fathers nonsensical way of dealing with things in our relationship I fought it hard and we rowed constantly. I was never able to submit to him, not ever because of my own relationship and life experiences. I knew this was not how I wanted things to be.

Original poster
foxytocin · 27/10/2009 08:56

I should think though that a 5 yr gap is less of a gap when the woman is in her late 20's or early 30's. She will already have had the life experiences and confidence in her decisions and set in her ways by then. So she is a totally different creature than when she was a 19 yo.

I doubt that marriages defined by phrases like 'submit to him' with any age gap would be very happy tbh but I see what you are getting at.

I for one would fight tooth and nail there too.

OP posts:
Lavenderfleurs · 27/10/2009 09:02

"submit" is not a word he ever used but it is the only word to describe the way he wanted things to be. I always said to him that he should have married someone much younger than him who didn't know much about relationships, on the other hand younger women don't seem to put up with as much crap as my generation, I was taught by my Mum to "work" at things come what may.

It is hard to say really. I think younger women are a lot more educated with regards to things like DV and just wouldn't put up with it.

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