dont want t go to my mums tomorrow.....

[npg1]

Hi, I know this is probably really petty but I need some advice. Mum has 2 DD, aged 9yrs and 7yrs. She is also a childminder and is quite stressed at the mo.

I go with DD2 who is 2yrs old every wednesday, the routine is we drop DD1 off at school and go over there for the day. I dont have to pick DD1 up until 5pm as she has a club and at the mo I just feel the whole routine of going over there too much and too boring.

I am very busy in the week and sometimes feel I need a break but I dont want to let mum down as I know she is down at the mo but im not sure I can face it with all those kids etc. I like it when we go and collect my sisters from school though!

What do I do or say or do I just bite my tounge and keep going?

Would your Mum be really hurt if you stopped? Am guessing once your DD2 goes to pre-school your routine will change so you will not be going every week no? Is it really dreadful or just dull? Is there an activity you and your Mum (with kids) could do in the day? Music club locally or toddler group?

Spending all day with your mum sounds alot. I'd invent something you have to do in the morning and say you'll pop round in the afternoon for an hour or so. It sounds as though you need to find a club or something to go to for a few weeks to get out of the habit of going there all day and give you an excuse. I'd do the activity on your own and maybe encourage your mum to do more stuff as her kids are at school she maybe needs a part time job or hobby if she's just mooching around every day.

Dont just drop it suddenly, phase it out and make your visits more random.

With my family I have noticed the older people get the more they get into routines which can be very wearing on me. I try and change any patterns that develp so its less noticable if I cant chat on the phone (which I really dont have time to do every day!) etc.

If your mum rang you up and said could you not come over this week, how would you feel?

Something in your post suggested, to me, that you are looking after her, protecting her feelings over you own. Apologies if I'm off the mark.