H is leaving & wants unlimited access to kids. what is reasonable?

[anyonethere]

hi MN

new to this site but hope can pick your brains...H having affair & decided to leave so marriage over. says he wants to maintain lots of contact with DD & DS, maybe picking them up from school & playing with them, then put them to bed (me & kids'll stay in family house)a few times a wk & when he gets a flat, they can stay with him weekends. is this reasonable, to give him access to family home several times a wk. apparently, i'll beable to use that time to get a life... i have great difficulty in deciding whether that's normal or whether he's taking the piss. any advice out there?

H still in family house. away jul&aug working abroad, plans to find flat nearby with help of OW money when her divorce settlement comes through, oct/nov. cushy set up for him...

Well to be honest a cushy set up for him will work better for you, however upsetting it may be. The children will have somewhere they like to stay which will make them happier, and he is more likely to be able to support you/less likely to want to sell the house if he is richer. Do get the legal stuff sorted though. I would worry too if I was reliant on dh and he was self-employed (when we broke up I earned more than dh, and we did a total split on finances, each supporting ourselves and the children for our part of the week).