Please help me get some persepctive on this...sorry it is long.
you may remember that I have been very unhappy with my situation for some time and am thinking of leaving, but my DH has begged me to stay and try . One of my biggest issues with him is that although he really loves me, he is useless at putting his feelings into words. consequently I feel a complete lack of empathy- and feel lonely within my marriage.
Two things happened this weekend which made me feel he just can't/doesn't understand me..
we had a big scene with my adult DS at the weekend ( over nothing)which resulted in me feeling a crap mother. Last night in bed DH asked if I was okay and I said I wasn't- in fact I felt that the last 25 years have been a waste and I have cocked up big time ( meaning I have a marriage which is not making me happy and a son who appears to hate me most of the time.) Dh's reply was "Oh that's not true"- meaning it wasn't the case for him! No sympathy for me, or acknowledging how I felt- he was trying to contradict me basically.
Then this morning, he asked what I had on today (I work freelance) so I told him I had an appt this morning, then had the rest of the day free- to which he repiled "Oh that's nice". I suppose he meant (possibly) that he was pleased I had an easy-ish day, but I( being defensive) took it to mean he thought once I'd done my work, I would have time to sit around drinking coffee all day- rather than getting on with all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, gardening and usual stuff that he seems to think happens by itself.
We seem to have a communication problem - he is just not good at saying what he means/wants of finding the right words in any situation. Although I know he reallyloves me, the frustration I feel at his inability to show empathy or "touch me" emotionally is driving me away.