Best friend has cut me off - don't now why and really upset about it

[Allegrogirl]

My best mate from Uni who I have known since I was 18 (now 35) has just in the last 2 months or so stopped returning my calls, texts e-mails etc. We live close by and I popped around to find out if there was a problem and she said no just feeling ill due to being nearly due with DC2. Saw her and her dh in public the next day and got evil looks off her dh. Bizarrely I got a birthday gift that day care of her sister who I am still friends with.

Clearly our friendship has come to an end for what ever reason and I need to move on. I can't stop feeling hurt. I feel like a school girl again. Any advice on how stop feeling upset about this?

could it be that your friendship hasnt come to an end but she is just feeling ill due to being nearly due with dc2? a pressie woudl be strange if she had cut you off. but i do know the pain as in 2003 my best friend since uni cut me off too. i havent heard from her since. but no pressies via her sister whom i am friends with still though so there is hope for you!

I think you have every right to find out if it's something you've said or done that has made her feel like this, so you can try to make it better (if you want to, that is)

Write her a letter saying what you've said here, hopefully she will reply.

are you sure this is about you?

i have a very very good friend who often drops out of circulation but i am not offended because it's not about me, it's her - she has a mental health problem which is usually under control with medication but sometimes she just needs some space.

Maybe you just have to accept that your friendship is over if she will not communicate with you. Several years ago someone who I had considered to be a dear friend cut off contact with me, this was without warning and she never explained why. About a year previously she had disclosed to me that she was having an extra marital relationship, and I told her that I couldn't approve of that, but that I would always be her friend. There was no change in our relationship up until the point that she suddenly cut off all contact. We were so close that I was a godmother to two of her children and she was godmother to my youngest, we each had two older children who were also best friends. I called her and she said there was no problem, but didn't turn up without letting me know when we had planned to meet, and I wrote and asked her what the problem was and never received a reply. Until last year I still sent a Christmas card and a birthday card to my godchildren, but after my husband died suddenly last June and she did not reply when I wrote to tell her this, that for me was the last straw. If she contacted me now, I really don't think I would want to speak to her again. It does sound as though your friend may come round as she made contact through her sister. I was absolutely heartbroken by the loss of this friendship, I had moved away but we kept in touch and when we lived in the same village we were like sisters and saw each other nearly every day. I hope that this has a better outcome for you.

Thanks for your kind words. I'm really sorry to hear about your experience Evenstar. Not responding to the death of a loved one is really harsh.

My friend had her baby this week, she didn't tell me I heard from her sister. I'm going to pass on a card and gift but leave it at that for a few weeks. Maybe when her dh is back at work I will ask if I can pop round.

I got annoyed with a friend of my friend when her son hurt my dd at playgroup. He is very rough and is known for it and it wasn't the first time. I think new friend is more important than me these days. This seems a trivial thing to lose a friendship over but I can't think of what else it could be.

Thanks anyway. It helps to write it down if nothing else.