Lost my faith in love and men. Please give me hope....

[greeneyedgirl]

Just as it says in the title. Feeling fed up and marginalised, I have little belief left in love anymore. Someone cheer me up for God's sake, I'm beginning to annoy myself!

My Mom, at the tender age of 56 is now having lovely conversationsvia email with a lovely man via Match.com.
She has had 2 marriages (first my Dad) and has notoriously bad taste in men, it's taken her a while, but she's enjoying herself again.
Love is out there!

Aww, that's lovely, glad that things are good for her.

Don't let the bastards grind you down. Theres a latin translation that sounds better but the sentiments the same. Just put experience down to learning and leave room for the good things to come back into your life.

And greeneyed girl, it's took her an age to go "out there" and look for someone, my brother and I have been telling her to go for it.
She is extremely beautiful and so lovely and I'm pleased that she has finally stopped staying in alone cleaning (we are so NOT related) and gone for it.
It's there lovely, just "put yourself out there".

What happened greeneyed, I remember you posted a while back about dissatisfaction with your relationship and were going to talk. I assume it didn't go that well....

They're not all b*stards It's true, there are great guys out there, lots of them. You don't hear about the good ones because they're not running around messing up their own and others lives, causing scandal. It's true y'know

My recommendation would be to get a really good gardener. That did it for me

Develop faith in yourself. Think of all yoru good friends/loving relations - and if you are short on good friends and all your relations are toxic or crap, get to work on making some new ones. Romantic love is all very well but it's kind of like chocolate ice-cream: nice but not necessary.
TBH until you have a life you are happy and comfortable with, you are very unlikely to find an enjoyable romantic relationship. If you are looking for a Man to fix everything, all you will attract is predators and cocklodgers.

Thanks all, I am being far too self indulgent, but it's nice to hear positive things. Yes Mocca, I did post previously about the relationship, although haven't had "the talk" yet, mainly due to the anxiety I suffer from at the moment.

I am having horrible panic attacks, especially just before I go to his house (a 36 mile drive on the mw) and it has taken so much effort to pull myself out of them, so the talk has been put on the back burner.

My dp is not a bad person and we do not argue, it's just that the relationship feels a bit nothingy. Call me pathetic, but I need affection, I need to feel loved and I would like a bit of effort made.

There are other factors in my life that are dragging my self esteem down, and I could do without this to make it worse.

greeneyedgirl
what solid has said makes lots of sense
i havent read your previous posting
i have suffered with low self esteem in the past
i found one way to overcome it was to focus on one good thing that i had achieved that day and congratulate myself for achieving it
i found that by concentrating on the positives i was focussing less on the not so good things which were dragging me down
ok i admit that i do still have my moments
but have found that by taking this general approach im now a much more confident and happy person
i imagine that others might be able to recommend books
but i know there are also lots of sites to maybe have a look at too
i imagine that once you have come to terms with whats going on with yourself then you'll be able to discover what exactly you can do with your relationship
wishing you lots of luck with this xx