I have been maried for 6 years. We have a gorgeous DD. She is two.
The thing is when I told him I was pregnant his first words were "oh so I am going to take 2nd fiddle now am i?"
Through out the pregnancy he never took interest. Hated me beiung sick it made him angry. Went for one scan, I had 4. When I was 30 weeks preggers I had chest pains. LAbour ward wanted to send ambulance, but I said hubby will drive. Instead he went to work anfd I drove. I almost had a C section, but I was OK. Mum took me home, told him what happened just shrugged. When DD was born didn't get flowers, and he didn't want me to come home.
He never took an interest no elation at the birth. Got home left to it. Eventually diagnosed with PND when DS 4 months. Felt alone and very emotional.
Once on medication i perked up, felt strong and realised what a shit he had been.
Went back to work on shifts and he hates them. I don't work nights. I get to spend either all morning or all afternoon and evening with DD. I am lucky enough to watch her grow up. Plus my rest days can fall in the week and spend them with DD. My nursery only charges for attendance when I am on shift which saves me a fortune. Most nurseries insist on block booking. He doesn't understand how much money my shifts are saving on our outgoings. He doesn't contribute to anything. (only now pays gas and elec). I pay mortgage, 800, nursery fees 500. telephone and sky for DD. he pays approx 150 quid.
I left him in April and went to live with Mum. She really helped out. Went back in June he promised to change his ways. Little things like allowing me to have a lie in once in a while. Give me a lump sum each month. I forgot to mention he smokes dope. He refused to give it up until I left. However i know he is back on it. He drinks like a fish as well. I do not get money. when I ask Iwe end up rowing.
I have lost total respect for him and I know I don't love him. Xmas day we went to friends around the corner. I left at 8pm with DD he said he would finish his drink and follow. Came home at 2am. Obviously didn't want to spend xmas with his family.
I can't bare him being intimate with me. He is obsessed with his willy like most men. Every morning he is sroking it is under the covers. Even when DD in the room. I tell him to stop when DD in room but gets angry and huffy. WE have a frequent sex life but only to stop him moaning at me if I knock him back he gets huffy and storms out of bed. He wants me to have sex with him wearning a strap on but i shudder at the thought.
Help.
The thing is,I love all of his family dearly. We are very close and I know it will all change if we split.
He desparately loves me I can tell. Always tells me he loves me, and is now a great dad. So how the hell do you tell them you want a divorce? Is the grass really greener?