What can my brother do to repair this situation??

[moominsmummy]

My elder brother has not bothered to get me, my husband or DS1 a xmas or birthday present or card for a couple of years. I started to get a bit annoyed with this but have totally fallen out with him now because he didn't even bother to call or send a card when DS2 was born. My parents and other brother are always making the excuse that he is very busy at work. I find this excuse wears a little thin when I work 4 days a week, have two kids to bring up, a disabled husband to look after and I still manage to get cards and gifts for everyone.

We all met at a family gathering at the weekend and my brother didn't even bother to say hello to DS2 or comment about meeting him for the first time. Everyone now knows how annoyed I am and have told him he has to ring and sort it out - but I don't want to talk to him! I just don't know what would put this situation right - has anyone any ideas? I am just so annoyed with him.

and I am only making an effort for my mum's sake - if it was up to me I'm not sure I'd be bothered if I ever spoke to him again.

Has your brother always been like this or is it a recent development?

You know what, you can't make people care or be interested.

I'd stop putting store by what he does or says or at least not letting on how you feel about it because it's evident that he's really not bothered.

You could continue doing the right thing by him with birthday and Christmas cards etc but accept that he's a thoughtless twerp and well, don't get heartburn over him.

Does he have children? I hope you'll still be a doting aunt if he does. My DH's sister and my brother are pathetic at cards etc but we'd not see their DCs not have their birthdays acknowledged with a card and a gift. Not that we ever get a thank you but it's not their fault their parents are so too busy to be polite.

I think it's time you accepted your brother is never going to behave how you want him to.

If he's only ringing to apologise because the rest of your family are pressuring him to, then it will be rather hollow - and completely pointless if you don't want to talk to him anyway.

Does he have children? Is he a bit envious of yours?