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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh's libido has reawakened and mine hasn't HELP!

7 replies

teenspirit · 04/10/2008 17:22

ds 3 and dd 4 months not had sex since late pg and not minded! Basically I'm in the spare room bf and lack of opportunity more than anything else has caused this situation.
I'm feeling fat, hairy (bikini line and legs neglected)and most of all tired. DH joked he was coming into my room last night only he wasn't joking
Anyway managed to avoid penetration and gave him a bj but he's just joked that if i'm lucky he's coming back tonight
I just don't feel like it can't explain why cause I don't know just felt like I was going through the motions last night and don't want to have sex like that.
Any thoughts? advice?

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 04/10/2008 17:33

Tell him you need wooing! Seriously a bit of pampering can help the old sex drive along. You need your ego stroking before anything else

countingto10 · 04/10/2008 17:45

My libido didn't come back until I stopped solely BF. My dh understood this and was quite reasonable in his demands - pity he isn't now !Have a word with your DH and explain how you feel. Maybe he'll look after the baby whilst you have a pampering session etc. I don't think I felt half normal until the baby was at least 6 mths - but DH & I understood this and made allowances.It is a hormonal thing and once your DD stops BF as much your libido will come back as mother nature thinks it's time for another baby !

2manychips · 04/10/2008 19:08

may i ask why you are in seperate rooms? having my dh just visit for sex would be a huge turn off for me.

whomovedmychocolate · 04/10/2008 19:18

Countingto10 - not always the case, I have an 11 week old DS to prove it (DD is still breastfed!)

I sleep separately from my DH because I am breastfeeding DS and so my nights will be disturbed but I prefer that he gets some sleep so he can take DS away at 4am when I am absolutely knackered and at the end of my tether - maybe the OP is the same?

2manychips · 04/10/2008 19:30

I also breastfed (my dh sleeps through anything), I just enjoyed the intimacy of a shared bed which maintained the affection that assisted my libido-does that make sense?!

whomovedmychocolate · 04/10/2008 19:34

Actually my DH snores as well and while I can stand him waking me up when I am getting at least five hours, when I only get two hours a night, waking me up is liable to lead to homicide!

teenspirit · 04/10/2008 22:22

separate rooms cause of bf so dh can sleep to get up for work during the week and at weekends he gets up with ds and lets me sleep if i can.

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