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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my SIL a bit wierd and possibly toxic, or am I being paranoid?

27 replies

LittleBella · 15/09/2008 17:58

OK she's not my SIL, she's my DB's girlfriend, he's only been with her a year and I've met her a few times, she's been out with the kids with him and been to my house a few times and played with the DC's etc. Today they popped round and have just gone and she and DD (6) played a game upstairs while me and DB chatted downstairs, which consisted of her and DD tying up DS (9) and spraying perfume on him. She played a similar game last time she came round and now that she's played it twice, it has suddenly struck me as being something quite unusual.

I should mention that she's very young (my DB is a decade younger than me) and she's Russian, doesn't speak much English so it could be a cultural thing or whatever, but I just feel a bit uncomfortable about it because it's the sort of game I'd expect ghastly little girls to play, not a little girl aided and abetted by an adult.

Is my discomfort unnecessary? I'm so aware of toxic behaviour from all my mad relatives atm, that perhaps I'm seeing it where it isn't...

OP posts:
Tanee58 · 16/09/2008 13:12

Hmm - girls can be pretty scary en masse. Just look how we MNs scare our partners witless when they know we're talking to each other !

Yes, just keep an eye on it - only you can judge what feels right and comfortable for both your dcs

Pheebe · 16/09/2008 17:42

imo its not acceptable for an adult to 'tie a child up' under any circumstances. sounds like bullying to me and if they were my kids i wouldn't allow them to play on their own with her i'm afraid.

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