phobic men on dating apps

[Datingwoess]

I’ve been a regular on the dating apps for years and I’ve lost count of the number of men who on their profiles or on dates who say ‘no rush’ or ‘let’s see how things go’ or ‘let’s just enjoy ourselves.’

As if women are going on dates expecting a marriage proposal. No, we’re often trying to figure out if the guy isn’t a murderer or rapist, and whether we actually fancy them.

The slightest hint or talk of ‘what are you looking for’ or discussion about future is ‘pressure.’

I mean, it’s vomit inducing stuff. What is wrong with men?

You're seeing why trying to find a boyfriend online is commonly known as 'wading through sewage' and why studies have proven the happiest section of society is single, childfree women.
Enjoy your peaceful house and life.

To be fair, you have no idea what the women they've dated in the past have been like.

'No rush', 'let's just see how things go' is very sensible.

Have you ever used dating apps?

No, but I've been a MNetter for 16 years and I'm often shocked at how much some posters want so soon from a date.

I thought not 😉

Is this your only reply?

Surely you must understand that some women and men when they're online dating, want to rush things and want too much too soon?

Not everyone's the same are they?

Come on over to the dating thread 😁

Yes it’s my only reply because you don’t have any experience of what I’m posting about. I’m not being rude. But I could instantly tell from your response. I also appreciate how vastly different people are, but this isn’t the point of my post at its core. As I explained, I’m usually trying to figure out if a man is safe and whether I like him when I get to know him, not listen to his commitment phobic tendencies which I find tiring as I am not looking to rush marriage. It’s quite insulting and off putting. If he’s had problems before, that’s a him problem - I don’t need it projected onto me.

This.

You could tell from her response of not rushing into things being sensible that she’d never been on a dating app?

I agree with her opinion and I’ve been on dating apps plenty.

You’re not unreasonable to dislike it, you can not want to date someone for any reason at all. I just don’t think it’s an inherently unreasonable position for them to take.

I'm in the fortunate position of never having the need to use any dating apps. But I've been on MN for years and read rather a lot of threads.

It seems to me that men on dating apps who say things like 'no rush', 'let's see how things go' or 'let's just enjoy ourselves' aren't phobic at all. They are on dating apps not to find a loving relationship (or indeed a life partner), they are only there to find someone they can have sex with. They don't want the 'pressure' of actually having to go to all the trouble of being in a relationship in order to get what they want.

Ahh, so why didn't you put in the thread title that only online daters may reply?

Yes this is mostly true
There are also a few men looking for a relationship but my word, the way they behave as though you’re wanting a proposal and want to marry within three months
They’re not even all that 😂

Other posters really not understanding that this isn’t a case of people having preferences…it’s more the audacity of men telling you things proactively when you haven’t even figured out if they’re safe, not a
murderer, rapist.
oh you don’t want to marry within three months? Nor do I. Not sure why you want to spell that out on first date while I’m still trying to figure out which cocktail to order…

Good tip 😊

I’ll check it out! We can have a good chuckle I’m sure

Are you sure you haven't been on dating apps? "Only childfree women may apply" is a common profile addendum.

Applying similar to screen out dead beat dads however never seemed to work, they just lied about having kids.

The no rush etc. are best completely avoided @Datingwoess unless you are only seeking casual sex yourself. While you are trying to work out if he's safe, he's trying to work out how fast he can screw you and whether you will insist on condoms when he tells you he's allergic to latex.

Phew somebody who gets it!
Yes I never see them again
then scroll through ‘no rush’ and ‘enjoy the journey’ and ‘what are you looking for? good vibes only’ endless shite

I wish there could a dating app simply for dating and relationships and not the sex services app they’ve all morphed into while making women feel out of place for even contemplating a relationship

The paid apps used to be the ones where you could allegedly find men looking for relationships, what man wants to pay for find casual sex? Turns out many of them now do exactly that on the apps that used to be free so they can message first, message without matching, see their likes so they can contact anyone who remotely considered them attractive.

There are some out there @Datingwoess, that do want a relationship. Unfortunately out of those, even fewer actually want a relationship in and of itself and not because they need a roof over their head, or require a popular MN term "nanny with a fanny".

I would chose to stay single now if I had to start over again, it was bad enough last time around. The apps might have to start paying women to join them 😂

Men saying "lets see how things go' on a dating app literally only means they want to sleep with you and not commit to a relationship. Nothing else

The problem with the paid apps is that there are about five men on there and none that you actually want to go out with

Then you've weeded him out. You are not a suitable pairing. He doesn't want what you are offering and vice versa.

In what way ? What's so wrong with these five men ?

This! It’s actually helpful to know what they want/dont want