Long story short. I have been with my husband almost 20 years and, aesthetically his teeth have never looked great, but no issues.
5 years ago, his mouth started to smell really bad. Like sulphar, like waste, like feaces if I am honest. It was SO bad. Sometimes he only had to breathe through his nose and it would smell, from afar off also - for example I would go into his car and it would smell of his breath. When we were making love I could smell it also. Made me quiver to be truthful. But I tolerated it
When I raised it, he was incredibly defensive. Even if my approach was so light, sweet and loving - which it was in the beginning. He would deny it, accuse me of exaggerating and not do anything.
After some serious persuasion and many arguments as things were getting heated - I was so frustrated and trying to explain to him that it's because I care - he went to the dentist and he had 2x decayed teeth and had to have them removed - Sorted - smell gone!!!
The past 2 years however the smell has returned. I mentioned it and again, he started shouting at me, leaves the room, gets defensive and makes me feel so bad for bringing it up - again, I have brought it up in loving ways and yes, I will now admit I have shouted at him also and been incredibly honest about how it makes me feel and essentially turns me off. The thought of him kissing my body makes me feel awful.
Just to say we never kiss on the lips - like a deep, wet tounged kiss, because I have never been able to bring myself to it. We just peck and have been managing that (unspoken) for many many years and throughout.
Eventually, he went to the dentist who said he needs 11x fillings!!! This was over a year ago. His mouth stinks!! When I bring this up and explain to him that the holes/decay in his teeth IS contributing to the smell - the dentist confirmed this. Again, he gets very defensive, leaves the room and villainizes me. I have found myself apologising for bringing up his issue
I am so unhappy then get so engaged, because it's really not that deep. Just get fillings done!
It IS NOT because he is scared of the procedure or the dentist. I'm my view, it is because he is complacent and lazy. I even brought it up to our therapist - didn't land, nothing!!!!
I needed 4x fillings last year. All booked and completed within 2 months. Easy! I even tried to be a role model to him
I have been honest with him about how the smell he emits makes me feel and how I struggle with attraction. I cannot explain to you how bad his breath is
He constantly chews on gum to cover it and drenches himself in perfume.
I know others can smell it too - which embarrasses me further - I have told him this. Sometimes all he has to do is open his mouth and it smells
I had to have surgery 3 months ago and therefore we have not been able to be intimate
I have recovered it and essentially ready to be intimate and we have on one occasion. Although afterwards, we were having a discussion and all I could smell was his breath and I felt so sick, repulsed and enraged. Like PTSD.
I asked him again about the dentist, even called the dentist for him and she confirmed his outstanding treatment plan and he flared up and mistreated me
I feel the only option left is to deny my body to him. Which does not make me feel comfortable to do so but equally so, I cannot fathom the thought of intimacy with him.
I'm just debating whether I tell him what I am doing and why I am doing it. It will hurt him and no doubt it will be 'my fault' but I need to set my stall out. I have been begging him for years to sort it out and I'm so turned off