Reaching out to shy guy post separation

[Itsnotjustmeisit]

6 months post separation after husband admission ofninfeditlity(waiting for some financial info before proceeding with divorce). Had cpusnelling feel at peace with it really, still occasional anger/disappointment at the way he handles things now but realise we are very different etc.

Developed a crush on a parent at childs sport team while was still with husband - felt really nice around the guy, enjoyed his company, felt like he was interested in getting to know me and i just got a peaceful feeling from him. I never told him I was separated (didn't come up in convo) and his child suddenly left the team after a bit of a falling out in the club. Haven't seen this guy for about 3-4 months now. I added him on social media a couple of months ago and his likes/interests are quite close to mine, also some quite geeky ones. I quite like yoga/ meditation/soundbath and he's liked some stuff to do with soundbath/pagan day. I really didn't have him down as being into that. Anyway am I being tragic in thinking I'd like to reach out to him and ask him about this pagan day/ one of the other things hes shown an interest in simialr to mine just to see if it sparks a conversation? I like the idea of getting to know him in a low key way in an environment with just the two of us and would just like to see if a conversation went anywhere.

I think what's holding me back is

1. If I like him am I going to be ready for soemthing meaningful or is it too soon? I am enjoying my peace and my child free time with friends and alone. 2..We know mutual people through the sport and work (not loads but enough for me to look silly if I've completely misread this)

I really wish I could park it but I just miss the guy and am curious to get to know him. This is occupying more of my thoughts than my divorce/ex.

I will add he comes across as being shy, and given that he potentially doesn't know about my relatinships status, I feel like it sort of might be on me to reach out. There's been no interaction between us on social media since adding. But also I feel like he could reach out, he could have told me he was leaving the team etc etc

Or am I just putting too much weight on this because of what's going on I. My life and I should let it pass?

Thank you

Well, I wouldn’t want to get together with someone who hadn’t even started divorce proceedings. Plus, do you even know his relationship status?

Six months is fairly soon. But there’s nothing to stop you striking up an online conversation. “I was sorry to see your son had left the team. It was always nice to see you and have a chat. Hope you’re both doing well?”

Maybe be careful you're not falling for someone with similar trauma or negative experiences to you?

It’s occupying your thoughts more than your divorce because it’s a displacement emotion. Lovely dopamine not horrible cortisol. Focus on your divorce, healing, learning and growth. Give it time.

I don't think it's the right time for you to even be thinking about another relationship. Going through a divorce is stressful and messy and I think you're thinking about this guy as a nice distraction.

Thank you all.

Yes he'd made it quite obvious he was single.

Thank you all. Know you're 100% right. I havent acted on any of the thoughts- its literally just thoughts but occupying more headspace than I'd like.

Get divorced. Concentrate on self and kids 😀

I think you should strike up a friendship with him and see where it goes. PPS are right that it might be a displacement activity, but we all need a bit of displacement when we are going through a tough time. You are allowed a bit of light relief! Just don't think of it as a new big thing, just a flirtation or even just a friendship. If being around him makes you feel good, I say send him a note indicating that you had noticed his son was no longer in the team and ask how he is getting on. Life doesn't have to be all drudge! Good luck x

I mean this was my thoughts.. but something is stopping me- I feel like there were feelings which were reciprocated so i sort of would like to be on a clean slate (divorce done or at least just the final stages) before I reach out just in case it wasnt just a bit of coffee and catch up x I also still feel a little unsettled if I bump into ex or hear news about him so think I might need a bit more time before im a bitnmore myself if that makes sense x

That makes sense. Just keep it in your back pocket until you are ready.