Why doesn’t he just leave?

[duckingrow]

I’ve just read the “signs your husband hates you” thread and it all really hit home. I’ve been agonising about staying or leaving, but I can’t understand why he isn’t doing the same? DH has been acting entirely indifferent to me. At times contemptuous.

If he’s feeling like that, why doesn’t he just walk away?

Because staying makes his life easier, I imagine.

Presumably you provide a service (food, laundry, etc) he would have to outsource otherwise. Men can be very clinical about this stuff, there’s no breaking up out of honour if he’s still getting a benefit.

This really. Sadly.

Marriage benefits men, they live longer.
As PPs have said, he's possibly using you for a comfortable life/chores until his next girlfriend is lined up.
Neither spouse should walk away until the house and assets are sorted in the divorce, which you can start online.
Have a life of peace and happiness.

Absolutely this. You make his life easier. Even if you have a very equitable marriage where you do 50/50 of everything, that’s still an extra 50% he’d need to pick up if he was on his own.

Also inertia. I think men can be less good at taking proactive steps to change their lives unless the new thing is handed to them on a plate (like the chance of a new relationship).

He didn't want people to think he's the bad guy. He wants you to leave and him and for it to look like it's all your fault.