My partner is very closed off, it feels the more I push the more he pulls away.
I’ve been cheated on in the past and prefer to ask questions in hopes to not be blindsided again
He’s lied about countless things to do with his past and I’ve recently found messages he sent during our relationship to another woman.
They had known each-other prior to us and to his ex but had apparently never initiated anything.
I found that they had slept together not long before meeting me and had talked sexually, friendly and often.
The message he sent back ended with “Keep in touch” and wishing her luck on future endeavours
She then replied with “Thank you darling x”
When I brought this up he told me they had never slept together not even friends, I brought it up again and he admitted the messages and I brought it up a third time and with some coaxing he volunteered the information that they did sleep together.
His reasoning behind not telling me and lying was because “I always ask too many questions and go on and on”
Obviously I’m aware that my communication skills can and will always need some work and I feel guilty for building that feeling for him around how I raise concerns.
But I feel betrayed and lied to but I don’t know if this is insecurity talking or a gut feeling I shouldn’t ignore.
What do you think?