He just told me his prostitute was very beautiful

[Realjournal123]

He admitted to me last week that he goes to a lap dancing club when he’s abroad on business. I saw last year a text saying to bring him the tablet to his room. I managed to get it out of him that he’s had two hookers in that country he’s travelled to. I’ve tried to accept it for the sake of our kids but tonight when I asked for more details. He Just came out with ‘she was very beautiful’! It’s cut me up and I’ve decided after 20 and more years that I’ve had enough after that hurtful statement designed to really hurt me. Has anyone e else experienced similar behaviour or is this man insane/ soulless and just despicable. ? Of course he’s all of them but I can’t recall anyone ever being treated in such a hurtful and despicable manner. No apologies whatsoever from him.

Get rid and get tested
He's despicable .

That’s appalling OP, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I’d be telling him to leave.

It’s shocking g that you can spend your life with someone you didnt know and who is capable of this. I brought up his kids as well. Never thought he’d do this to me. I’ve always been there for him.

saying she is beautiful is the least of your worries. You should have left as soon as you found out he was seeing prostitutes.

I would also say a priority for you is to get a STD test.

He came back from that trip and went to the Drs. She gave him medicine for oral thrush!!! I mean wtf. He’s got the plague as far as I’m concerned.

I'm so sorry OP. He's not worth staying with. He's not who you thought he was. I too would find this unforgivable.

Do you know @Realjournal123 for the first time ever since I've been on MN, I've looked at your previous posting history.

I am so saddened for what you are going through.

No one should ever have to endure a relationship like this.

It is completely understandable to feel overwhelmed, but please never forget that you deserve a life of peace and respect.

Wishing you strength and courage. 🌸

Arregaithel- thank you. I try to be strong but I’ve realised for what? He love bombs then loves to hurt me. I strong but after so many years he’s finally broken me.

I really don’t know why I’m still with him. I guess I don’t want to be alone and penniless . To top it off he can be quite violent. Grabbing me and pushing me.

Before you decide anything, speak to a domestic abuse line. Then consider logging his behaviour with the police. You don’t need to press charges. Just log it at least. Do it quietly and don’t talk to him about it.

Please do this so that;

1. you can talk to people who understand and get the right kind of support.
2. you can decide what to do with the support of someone else.
3. you can leave safety.
4. if you divorce his behaviour is logged in case you need to evidence it for a non-molestation order or occupation order (although these are very hard to get).

But he’s shown you who he is. He has no respect for you or women in general. You deserve better.

Make a plan and get out. I'm sorry.

Sorry - anyome who 1. Cheats 2. Uses prostitutes
is a bad character.

And thats before anything else.

What happened in your life that you'd rather be with this piece of shit than alone?

The problem is that he's using prostitutes, not that he told you one of them was beautiful. Unless you don't mind him using prostitutes and also pushing you around, the relationship has to end.

Good grief! I could never be with a man who had slept with a prostitute.
I would view him as dirty, disgusting and sad.

I do view him and disgusting and sad. I agree with you. They don’t realise that the prostitutes despise them. They think they find them irresistible. I’m not done yet though. I refuse to now sleep with him obviously. But I’m going to quit once it’s suitable for me. A complicated situation.

Of course I mind. It’s really cut me up but after spending my best years with this creep, I’m not goi g to leave empty handed. I’ve been so soft as o thought we were building our future but his revelations are now a game changer. I’ve had a horrible life with him so I don’t want to leave and be bitter. I want to claw back my self respect. I’ll know when it’s time to really quit

It's a horrible situation. Hoping very much that you find a way out which feels right to you when the time comes.

Wishing you the best OP.

I think he wants you to help him spice up the sex life and intimacy.