First time posting. My wife of 10 years and mum of our 2 kids (15+12) has ended our marriage. I found out 7 weeks ago she was messaging a woman from her work inappropriately. She admitted she was struggling with her sexuality and was confused. We have had previous issues with her being unfaithful and betraying me. On our wedding day, a guest who she worked with confessed to her that "she had shattered his dreams by marrying me". This changed her, and me, I lost trust and became insecure which is never been before. She messaged him inappropriately within 2 months of us being married. I found out and she said being married made her feel like she lost her identity and felt trapped. We worked through things and she stopped the contact and we were ok for a couple of years. Our sex life was never the same though, she didn't show me as much intimacy outside or inside the bedroom. I tried to talk about it but my feelings were always shit down and turned around that I was expecting too much. Then a year before Covid I found out she was messaging another man from work, a much younger man. He was very forward with her and I always felt this was more than messaging but I never had evidence. She gaslit me and made me feel like I was imagining things. I ended up on antidepressants because of this. We separated when covid hit, we locked down in the same house but I was on the couch, luckily the kids were young and never knew what was going on. We spent lockdown falling for each other again and got back together around 5 months later. Things finally seemed like they were before our wedding. But then devastation struck, someone from her work told her she knew about her affair so she had to confess to me that she had been sleeping with the younger man from work. This killed me as we'd just spent months getting those feelings back for each other. All those trust issues and insecurities came back. I stayed for the kids and forgave her. Well I tried to forgive her. I never truly have. I've never felt safe and was living hoping she would realise how bad she treated me and that she would change. I should have spoken up and told her what she was doing to me, but I was so scared to lose my family, and I was madly in love with her. Fast forward 6 years of what I would describe as existing, to those 7 weeks ago and I've just found out that she's betrayed me again but this time with a woman. I offered support as admitting her sexuality to me was a big deal for her, she said she thinks he's bisexual. Not a problem for me. I love every part of her and wanted to support her while she understood her feelings. But having an emotional affair with the work colleague had to stop and we had to work on our relationship. She didn't last 2 weeks and I knew something was up and I confronted her, she was back sending the inappropriate messages and spending all day messaging her. I asked for marriage counselling and offered that we could try and save our marriage, again! But I said she had to stop the contact with the woman, she said she couldn't as she needed her as a friend. She said the messaging would stop as she wanted the friendship more than anything else from her. I reluctantly accepted that but asked for boundaries around how much time she messaged her. She hasn't done that and now told me we are fully separated. She has since kissed the other woman the day after separating from me. I only found out because she had a mark on her neck that looked like a hickey, she lied to my face and said it wasn't but then I txt her and she admitted it. My wife has always been defensive and her first instinct is to lie. I have said she needs to seek support and get counselling to understand why she behaves the way she does. Stupidly I still love her and don't want to see my marriage and family destroyed. We aren't in a position financially for either of us to move out so I don't know what to do. I've asked that she stops any physical intimacy with the woman whilst we live together and we have told our kids and family etc. But I really don't know what to do. I feel so disrespected and angry that she could treat me this way over and over again. My wife would do absolutely anything for her friends etc, but she would never give me the same. She says she still loves me but isn't in love with me and she checked out of the marriage a while ago, she just never thought to tell me or try and fix things. That hurts the most, that I've been blindsided when I've gave her so many chances. And would continue to give her chances. I just wish she could be the person for me that she is for everyone else.