Friend has been seeing someone for around 1.5 years. I don't know him very well, but she always speaks highly of him and he seems to have made her very happy.
She has had a string of bad relationships, the last one was an anxious avoidant type and a covert manipulator, the one before that was a real monster, full on domestic violence and the police were involved on multiple occasions. Before him, a fair few odd bods as well. So it's great that she's met this man as she seems really content and they're already planning to move in together.
I have said take your time, give it a while longer. It's great to have plans and to be planning a future, but I wouldn't like her to give up her place, which is lovely, and move in with someone, only for it not to work out again and for her to be effectively homeless. The rentals market is pretty dire, so be careful.
She has a lot going on with her health and is fatigued a lot. She's mentioned to me that he has made some remarks about this which she feels are cruel and at the very least, unfair. It shows a lack of understanding and compassion for her situation. He was scathing about it before they went on holiday together as well, although it seems they had a good time.
Not all that long ago, they came in from a night out, she tells me, it was well after midnight and they had had a few alcoholic drinks, went back to his house, and she sat down and closed her eyes. He then kicked off about her always being tired again and that she might as well just go home. He said he would get her a taxi. Then had the nerve to say he wouldn't order a taxi and he would walk her home. Which he proceeded to do.
He knew she couldn't afford a taxi. But he could have just said look, get to bed and get some rest and be kind to her. Obviously I was not a fly on the wall, but from the way she told me about it, it sounds as if he was really nasty and intolerant.
He wants to buy a house next year but he will be getting the mortgage, his name on the deeds and she will move in. And he's pressuring her to find a job before that happens, even though the GP has recommended that she doesn't return to work as yet.
My abusive person antenna are more than tingling.
Thoughts anyone?