Is there a way to reduce libido in a woman?

[SleepZealot]

I can’t even think of how to title this!

For various reasons (hormonal and medical, mainly), I don’t want to have sex currently. However, I do desire sex.

Anything that can basically turn off the part of my brain that wants it?

I am assuming that you don5 wN5sex with another person?
the alternative is self help…….

I should have been more specific. I just want to not desire any sexual activity.

I’d basically like to click my fingers and lose all interest.

anti depressants work in some people

Libido is healthy, so the only things that will work will ruin your health eg being stressed, not sleeping enough, not exercising or over eating and feeling bloated etc.

maybe not washing much and not shaving legs etc?

The pill did it for me.

It's called the menopause.

Not washing much will affect others people's desire for you, rather than your own libido. I have never shaved my legs, and I can confirm it does nothing to stop libido in myself or others.

OP, I don't know the answer. I agree the Pill did dampen mine. I don't know if antidepressants did, or if it was just the depression. Menopause has not yet slowed it, though it has calmed from the crazy level it was a couple of years ago.

I am not sure how you manage the frustration.

The “don’t wash” suggestion made me laugh 😂
The amount of BO-scented sleazy men would suggest it’s not really a blocker!

I’m peri. I’m finding it’s not stopping the desire, but definitely making everything less enjoyable!

It’s like there’s a big disconnect between my brain and my body. My brain is going “ooh, sex- that’s always a good time! Go for it!”, and then, a little while later, my body goes “hang on, this is sore and uncomfortable and actually not that enjoyable* so why are we bothering?”

*And it used to be very enjoyable 😢 Very enjoyable indeed.

Its mostly driven by hormones, estrogen and a lesser extent by progesterone and testosterone. So stopping hormone production or blocking hormone receptors might work. HOWEVER. There are lots of other body systems that need those hormones to operate effectively, so the process would damage those systems too.

Can you talk a little about why you want to not have a libido, maybe the MN vipers can help you with the underlying cause?

Get married?

Lube can help, and HRT, which isn't removing the libido, but helping your body to keep enjoying it.

Have you considered adjustments to avoid making your m body sore and uncomfortable

hope you work out what you need.

Watch on repeat, footage from The House of Commons. That’ll soon calm things down.

Lube.

and possibly vaginal oestrogen

Hahaha

Are you using the vaginal estrogen cream? A couple of times a week? Speak to your doctor.
And also plenty of lubricant?

The longer you go without it the less you miss it.

I think im at 8 years now. The thought is just icky

Antidepressants or the mini pill?

I want to say read this board for about 10 minutes 😂

I am in the same boat as you. I’d love a decent sex life but Peri has ruined it for me. I’m on HRT and testosterone. I climax very quickly (very sensitive) and I’m sore afterwards. I’ve tried all the lubes, cream, vaginal pessaries etc. My boobs ache and can be sore to touch and I’m struggling with sore hips and flexibility. That also does not help.

I also seem to go to sleep the second I lie horizontally. I’d love to hear what you are recommended on here.

Yes. The mini pill. It will decrease and you will be happy

I am married!! 🤣
To a very lovely, handsome, sexy man which really isn’t helping!

I appreciate I’ve been a bit vague/obtuse on the thread so here’s the full situation.

Very happily married for a long time. I’m 46, husband is 51. Mismatched sex drives (mine is higher) has always been a bit of an issue. Apart from that, things are really good and we’re happy and love each other.

He’s on long-term medication for a health issue. A side effect is some occasional erectile issues. Nothing insurmountable and we’ve managed through no problem, but it does stress him out when it happens (or doesn’t happen, more precisely!). There isn’t an alternative to his medication.

Now I’m deep into peri. I was nodding along with everything you wrote @Thisisnottheone
I’ve tried lubes and creams but when I say the dryness is a killer, even walking at times is very uncomfortable. Adding lube when I’m already irritated just makes it all feel worse. My breasts are constantly aching, and I just feel so sore that any intimate touching has me wincing. I’m constantly bleeding (akin to period bleeding, not irritation). I’ve spoke to my GP and she’s looking at HRT for me, but I have an autoimmune disorder that HRT can effect, so she’s sent me for lots of blood tests that I’m awaiting results of.

The reason I started this thread was on the back of some abandoned sex on Saturday night. Things were going ok but then I got so sore very quickly (and this was just in foreplay) that I just couldn’t continue, so I asked if we could stop and just cuddle instead. My husband was completely fine with that, but he’d lost his erection by that stage anyway so I don’t think he was really having an amazing time.

It just got me thinking about how our mismatched sex drives have always been an issue. I know he loves me very much, but he’s just not a sex person (Lynne- IYKYK). By that, I mean he’s not very motivated by sex. He’s very good at it, and enjoys it, but it’s never been a massive part of his thought process, even when we met in our twenties.

So I’m now at a stage where I want sex but don’t currently enjoy it. He doesn’t want it all that much/often. I’ve spent so long feeling sad that his drive doesn’t match mine, whereas now it’s the other way around and I’d like to just be able to switch off the part of my brain that actively seeks out sexual contact.

It all just feels a bit sad and pointless.

You have nailed it completely. I still want a sex life and my DH very much wants it (full sex).

We had a very tough conversation where I had to explain that I am still interested, I do enjoy it in the moment. He just thought I wasn’t interested (thank you endless menopause posts online) it’s just changed for me and it makes me very sad it’s changed.

I feel for you both. Have you tried using a vibrator or toys?

If it's sore and uncomfortable get yourself to the Dr . You might need oestrogen pessaries/ cream as that is a sign of atrophy which is common in peri / menopause .

It might sound obvious but have you tried vagisil thats very good ?