Questions about hysterectomy

[BeSharpGreenReader]

My partner requires a hysterectomy, no date set yet, she is extremely self reliant and I know better than to try and manage this for her, but she has not opened up about this yet and I want to be ready. She discovered she could not have children before we met.

What sort of emotions can the run up to the operation cause? Will they be any different after the op?
How can a partner support?
Any practical advice of things I can prepare (emotionally or physically) in case they are needed.
Is there anything else the collective MN wisdom suggests I need to know.

The practical support after the op will depend on how it’s been done (laparoscopically or if she is being cut open). She likely won’t be able to drive for a while or lift anything heavy, so if you can help her in this way I’m sure it would be appreciated. Also, if she is having her ovaries removed, this may lead to going into menopause.

I went through it alone recently and made sure I had stocked up on water/heavy items and food beforehand so I had everything I needed when the time came.

Why don’t you ask her how you can help? It sounds like you are trying to support her the best you can and I’m sure it will be appreciated.

I haven’t had it yet but it’s likely to be recommended for me in the next 12-24 months so I’ve been reading up.

She will need at least 8 weeks off work and lots of practical support in the first 2 weeks.

Even if she keeps her ovaries, she might need some HRT to stabilise her hormones afterwards.

Most women seem to say they are much happier once it’s done as all the problems it’s been causing are dealt with, even though the recovery is a long and slow process

What sort of emotions can the run up to the operation cause? Will they be any different after the op?

For me, my main emotion before the operation was fear - I was afraid I might lose all sensation in that part of my body. This didn't happen. It was actually the first thing I did when I came round, checked that I still had feeling all over. Once I knew I had and the operation was successfully complete, I felt much better.

How can a partner support?

I would say in terms of emotions, listen and support - don't try to 'solutionise' - be a sympathetic ear.

Any practical advice of things I can prepare (emotionally or physically) in case they are needed.

Help your partner prepare practically for her recovery. Is she having an abdominal procedure or keyhole surgery? She will need to rest whichever though keyhole recovery is usually shorter. Make sure she has plenty to keep her occupied - things she can do lying on the sofa - books, things to watch on TV, puzzles - whatever she is into. Be ready to take on all the housework and meal preparation for her - she shouldn't lift or strain herself in any way while recovering.

Is there anything else the collective MN wisdom suggests I need to know.

She needs to make sure she takes some sanitary towels to hospital with her as there is usually bleeding for up to a few weeks while healing. Loose, comfortable clothes for post-op. Take a pillow for when you are driving home so she can cushion her abdomen - you feel every little bump on the road afterwards! She may have bloating and heartburn after the surgery so worth getting in some Gaviscon or similar. She should be sent home with all the painkillers she'll need.

Ah ok that’s interesting about the ovaries and HRT. I’ll bear that in mind.

I supported a good friend in the aftermath of her hysterectomy. Every woman is different and their recovery will be different, but it is major surgery, whether it's done via the keyhole (laparascopic) method or via an abdominal incision and might take your DP weeks to feel normal again. She is likely to be in pain and emotional - both of which are very normal after any kind of surgery.

She will need underwear and loose pjs and trousers in larger sizes than she would normally wear. My friend is about a size 12 and I had to buy her size 20 the morning after her surgery as none of her clothes fit or were comfortable. She wanted high-waisted 'granny pants' that came up over the incisions and didn't press on them. She lived in loose tracksuit bottoms for a while, as did another friend who had a hysterectomy - she got a velour tracksuit and said it was the only thing she could wear because of the swelling and discomfort.

She will also probably be in a lot of pain and discomfort immediately afterwards and may need someone to keep on top of pain meds and administer them regularly. Her mobility is likely to be compromised and she may need assistance with self care. If you can make her food and drink, do the housework and just let her focus on resting and recovery that will be massively helpful.

It's keyhole surgery.

I definitely tend to solutionise, I am actively trying to stop that part. But I am not sure how comfortable she ever is asking for help.

My plan (open to criticism) is to anticipate as much as possible and be ready if she needs it, but without imposing it, or taking control away from her.

High fibre meals! Constipation can be a post surgery issue and straining not recommended.
Nonsense viewing and reading suggestions. Also be there emotionally - regardless of what happens with ovaries this is a surgery that can really get to you .

A cushion for over her stomach on the drive home.
I was fine emotionally before and after mine and didn't really have any pain but I was sore and sleepy and couldn't walk far. You're also not allowed to lift much so being around to make meals, doing shopping and lifting stuff would be useful.

That sounds like a good approach. Try to be led by your partner as much as possible, and if her mood isn't obvious, there is no harm at all in asking her whether she would like you to suggest solutions or whether she just wants you to listen.

Keyhole is usually a quicker and easier recovery. I have heard of occasional cases where a planned keyhole had to be changed to abdominal because the removal was unexpectedly difficult - your partner's consultant should have let her know if that's at all likely, though.

Had my surgery early last week-laparoscopic. As others have mentioned already-im
not able to do much apart from rest, am in discomfort stage right now. Peppermint tea, dulcoease to help with the gas used during operation and preventing straining. Having a station set up in bedroom with everything on hand is useful. Oh and a grabber handle /litter picker thing -I keep dropping things and can’t pick them up without it