Friend issue had enough

[Bountyhunter888]

Ive a female friend ive known decades she does this thing where she buys me not expensive presents usually second hand some i want some i dont, the issue is im not allowed to give her presents back she always gets rude angry and defensive and doesnt want them, if we go out i cant even buy her a coffee as again rude and defensive and will not allow it to happen,

in lockdown i paid for a coffee and she threw the pound coin at me i said i dont want it it will only go in the bin which i did and she saw me as i said i dont want germs, its like they are all her rules!! Obviously now im not buying her any more presents as i cant be dealing with it, money isnt an issue for her ive no idea what its about, if i see shes bought me a present my stomache drops and i think oh here we bloody go again,.why does she do it any ideas,

What did she say when you said "let's agree to not buy presents?"

What would she do if you handed her gift back and say "we agreed no presents" ?

What pound coin?

You bought her a coffee, then she went into her purse and got out a pound coin (is that exactly what the coffee cost?) out, and then threw it at you!?

How very odd.

It is a little rude to a return a present you don’t like. You accept it graciously, thank her for it, then put it aside.

I don’t really understand the coffee situation, apart from during Covid she was hypersensitive about germs so didn’t want your pound coin?

She sounds very strange. Do you want to be friends with her outside of this issue?

What does she say to you when you tell her you don't want any presents from her?

I have a close family member who's exactly like this - she's absolutely livid if I buy her something, e.g. for a special birthday or as a thank you. Then she'll show me something that someone less close has given her and fawn about it, saying she's never known anyone so generous. She's like this with her own children - I very much doubt she's like that with friends, but I do think that if possible she'd throw away anything they gave her (as long as she thought they wouldn't know). God knows what's going on!

Well throw them back at her and tell her that otherwise they will be going in the bin.

She's fine with doing that so why shouldn't you?

Yee it is very odd, lets say the coffee was £2 and i paid for it she then insists to pay half and no matter how much i say i dont want the £1 coin she then throws it towards me

She sounds awful.
Why are you still friends with her?

I havnt as yet told her i dont want the presents and it actually wouldnt make any difference as she wouldnt hear me anyway and she is very strange, she has lots of strange behaviours

Its so odd isnt it, she buys me weird food sometimes too which i will say i dont want

This is exactly where i am ive known her years but ive had enough

I think OP means she can’t reciprocate with presents rather than literally giving the same presents back to her

Aah, totally misread that!