Strangest day tomorrow- advice needed

[UniqueOpalSwan]

I have the strangest conundrum tomorrow!
My best friend fell out with her family several years ago and I always kept in touch with her Mum as I have known her since I was a little girl, but due to the nature of the rift I never said too much and stayed out of any family issues. They subsequently made it up and everyone was happy. Tomorrow her mum is visiting her. For the first time in a few years. She has said to my friend, it would be lovely to see me for half an hour and my friend said she would invite me round. This conversation was between her and her Mum, so in fact I should not be privy to it. Her mum told me but obviously I have not discussed this with my friend. Anyway, my friend has not invited me round and subsequently told her Mum that she did invite me but that I was too busy to come round. Obviously again, I should not be privy to this discussion. It has made me feel very awkward as I am wondering why my friend would not want me round for a coffee with her mum. Especially as her mum has looked after me since I was a little girl. I obviously can’t go demanding any answers from my friend because it makes me look like a devious person - would you be offended by not being invited or would you just think that they wanted to spend the entire day alone and put it behind you?

Maybe she just wants to have time alone with her Mum?

Do not say anything to either of them. They have enough going on in their relationship without you there. Keep the information about them meeting up without you to yourself. One of them has something to say and doesn't want anyone else around.

From your friends perspective, I might feel a bit like I didn’t want my daughter mother relationship usurped. So I get it. I wonder if her mother could also be one of those mums that compares her to you unfavourably. Perhaps not even with malice but just in a way she notices that has started to get under her skin.

I would just respect it and say to her mum that her daughter probably just wants to spend some me time with her and it’s not a big deal. Or depending on how much your friend means to you in comparison to her mum, I might just go along with the lie.

Am I reading this right? She hasn’t seen her mum in person for years, why would she want you there? Let them be ffs.

Tomorrow her mum is visiting her. For the first time in a few years.

I can't think of anything worse than being there when they are trying to rebuild a relationship. I mean it's clear why your friend said what she did - she doesn't want you there. And, again, I can't think of anything worse than being there. Leave them be to repair things between them. I'm second-hand embarrassed for you.

The mother talking about her dd behind her back with you doesn't sound good.
Stay away out of their family business. There is a time and a place and this is not it.

What? They haven’t seen each other in years and you’re confused as to why you’re not invited? Ofc she doesn’t want you there for that. Honestly it’s a bit weird you kept in touch with the mum more than a ‘happy birthday’ ‘hope you’re doing well’ or something on Facebook. And it’s REALLY weird the mum after not seeing her dd for years, wants you there. I think her asking and your confusion indicate that actually there’s some weird relationship dynamics here that you’ve not mentioned/noticed.

Yes leave them to it, with your unspoken blessing.

This isn’t about you. How is your relationship with your own mum?

I think your friend and her mum need some space to sort out their relationship. The mum shouldn't be inviting you along to that process

I think if this is truly your friend, you need to step back from the mum.

I wouldn’t be offended. I can totally relate to wanting to be alone with someone I had a rocky relationship to try to rebuild it. For whatever reason another person being there isn’t what she wants. Don’t take it personally it’s not about you.

I feel you are being very inconsiderate and intrusive? It’s their first time seeing each other in a few years and you’re now making it about u? Are you ok? Genuinely so many weird posts on here tonight, what is going on?

Absolutely thought the same and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a part to play with the breakdown of the relationship. Even if she doesn’t know it herself. I usually try to be quite supportive with my comments on here, but this is just so weird. Making it all about her, rather than a mother and daughter trying to repair their relationship.

Yes. This.

Let them have their time together.
X

I don't think its strange. For whatever reason, your friend doesn't want you there.

Does your friend know you’ve been in contact with her Mother?

If I fell out with my DM and my friend was speaking to her independently I’d find that really strange. If I discovered she’d be secretly talking to her and kept that from me I’d probably end the friendship. The disloyalty is so massive. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking.

The mum shouldn’t be inviting you to the very first visit she is having with her daughter.

And she shouldn’t be telling you any of this, as you say.

Do you trust the mum? Because she could be making it all up and playing you off one another even further.

Have you told your friend's mum that your friend hasn't actually invited you?