What would you think about this comment?

[HallowenStorm]

I have no idea where to put this thread so hope this will work here.

Here is the situation
A 50yo father is going to have lunch with his 18yo dd. They settle down and he starts saying to her ‘oh people might think I’m going out with a date’
What would you think of it?

This was my dad. The memory came back as I was reading something totally unrelated.
It was years ago , at the time, a 50yo ‘Going out’ with an 18~20 yo wasn’t seen as inappropriate. Still what really stayed with me was feeling so uncomfortable.
He was (and still is) married with my mum too.
It was a small place where everyone knows everyone too.

Was it an isolated comment/incident and was he a brilliant, otherwise well rounded dad, or was he a creepy weirdo? My answer would depend on the answer. If he was otherwise brilliant, I’d put it down to a misjudged, albeit strange comment. If he always made you uncomfortable, then obviously that’s completely inappropriate and the man had/has issues and I’d likely not have anything to do with him.

I would think it’s a dad joke and move on.

It might have popped in his head but he shouldn’t have said it. My dad would never have said it in a million years and to imagine it is quite horrible.

well I suppose it's true people might of thought it. People make stupid comments all the time. Men, even dads, are still men - most manage to keep these kinds of thoughts or comments to themselves tho. Or do they? Idk any more 😂

No he wasn’t a brilliant dad. Very explosive. But not creepy towards me iyswim.

He was and still is very sexist. And the type to repost or comment on semi clad ladies with big boobs on FB. Very cringe. (and then he wondered why I never accepted his friend request)

Well stranger things have happened.
I had to take ds 20 and newborn ds to A&E.
Dr asked me if ds was a good help during the night .
Ds was mortified .
I was 44

.

It didn’t feel like a joke at the time though.

Creepy comment. @Violetplus4 's answer was spot on if it was a one-off. Given it wasn't, your dad's kinda weird.

My dad wouldn't have said this. Besides, we look like peas in a pod so it wouldn't have looked like he was out on a date anyway.

I do have an uncle however, who would've said this & I'd have just said 'I really don't think anyone would think you were that lucky!!' or something similar.

Your dad doesn't sound brilliant though I'm sorry.

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

It is absolutely not something my dad would've said to me at 18, or any age for that matter. It wouldn't have entered his head. The comment would've made me very uncomfortable OP. It sounds as though he liked the idea of people thinking that. And I can only hope that's the only thing he was thinking.

Most of the men bar one on my family would never have said something like that. There was one though

I’m thinking of my own dcs, who are at a similar age now.
I can’t imagine that thought even getting into my mind.

It's always been considered inappropriate for a 50 year old man to be dating an 18 year old. I'm surprised you think that's not the case OP.

We went away once when DS was about 17/18. Something needed sorting with the car so we left DH to sort it out and went into the hotel bar for a drink. They asked if we were staying at the hotel so I said yes.

We were getting some very strange looks from the bar staff who served us.

When DH eventually joined us the staff all heaved an enormous sigh of relief and visibly relaxed. They had clearly thought that I was there to spend the weekend with an 18 year old😅

My adult DD goes to the gym with DH and he says she always starts every sentence with “Dad…” when she’s talking to him. She said it’s just in case anyone sees them together and thinks he’s her boyfriend. I don’t think she’s a wrong’un because the thought crosses her mind.

My father, then 35, was somewhere with my older sister, who was 16 at the time. They overheard someone say 'Is that his wife or his daughter.
My sister looked and dressed older than her age and could have been mistaken for being in her 20s.
I was in a shop once and the assistant thought I was with my mother.

He might have been marvelling that his daughter was grown up and that he was out with an attractive young woman rather than a little girl. He might have felt proud. On it's own it doesn't mean anything sinister.

My dad said the same thing a few times, I never knew how to reply and it did make me feel uncomfortable.
But otherwise he was a brilliant father to me. No other creepy comments or behaviour, on the contrary.
So I put it down as him being a proud father somewhat enjoying fooling people, poking their eyes out. And me a young adult or teen, feeling uncomfortable all the time anyway.
Not sure if my post helps, but it offers you the option the comment might not have been creepy in your fathers head.❤️‍🩹

My 16 year old would put him bang back in his place.

There’s no way I’d have felt it was ok to put my dad in his place at that age.

I was marvelling at my cousin doing that exactly that yo him. And then realising that if I had done the same, he wouldn’t have laughed along and stopped but would have got very angry at me instead.