How long would you travel for the right relationship?

[TheCleverGreySheep]

I have been dating someone for around four months now, it’s all going well and he’s recently made me his girlfriend….. he lives 45 minutes away from me. Which isn’t a great deal away, but not on my doorstep either.

I just wondered how other people work the distance when they are in a relationship with distance ect ? We see each other weekends 45 minutes isn’t long right ?

I would be more worried about him making you his girlfriend. Did you get a say in this or did he just decide?

My boyfriend is 30 minutes away and its too far in my opinion.

I dated a previous long term relationship with 550 miles between us for the first 2 years.
My current relationship we were 400 miles apart for the first year and a half.

45mins is nothing to be bothered about in my opinion.

I was gonna say forty minutes by train. If I met them organically and we really clicked.
But I wouldn’t deliberately look to start dating anyone who was more than twenty-ish minutes by train (eg: via online dating). It’s too much work.

At four months in though if it’s staring to feel like an inconvenience, maybe he’s not the one.

I married DH and he was thousands of miles away.

How does one make someone a girlfriend?

My partner lives in Chicago. I’m in Yorkshire…

45 minutes is perfect. Not too far a drive but far enough to not see him again if you need to sack him in the future

How did you meet?!

Have they moved? It’s 40 mins on your other thread.

Anything less than an hour is no time at all really is it? Making you his girlfriend sounds odd and like he has all the power here.

What are you on about?

40/45 minutes. It's not like she was saying 45 minutes on one thread and four hours on the other.

@TheCleverGreySheep

if it feels too far, it is too far.

It's an inconvenient distance, but it just depends how great the relationship is and what both of your situations are with regards to potentially one of you moving to where the other one is. If you both have children who you are coparenting and are settled in their schools, etc. I think it would make it very difficult to maintain a relationship. But if one of you could move and are free to stay with the other one more before that point then it's not that far...

Just wondering why the change - adamantly one time on one thread and then posting another - virtually identical - with a different one.

Just over an hour away works for me. 6 months in, we see each other often at weekends, occasionally during the week.
if one of you doesn’t drive or have transport, then it’s a problem.

Dh and I lived an 11 hour flight, pretty much opposite sides of the world, for two years when we were first dating. We did live in the same place, maybe 20 minutes apart for the first 6 months (we met working abroad) and then for visa reasons, we both had to return home to our respective countries. The travel was expensive, but we spent as much time as possible together going back and forth for those 2 years and we spent a lot of time just talking. After 2 years, I moved to live with him and we got married. 45 minutes is nothing. I drive almost that far just to get to our nearest big supermarket!

I think if you feel a 45 min trip to see him (or vice versa) is too long then he’s not the right person for you. If you were head over heels you wouldn’t even be giving it a thought

45 minutes are you serious, that’s nothing.

People have long-distance relationships. DH and I lived in different continents when dating

I regularly drive that far to get groceries.

DH and I were 1500 miles apart when we started dating.

I am happy to seek in a 25 mile radius. I'd like to go to his house for tea and vice versa. I guess occasionally you'll meet someone on your travels who may be slightly outside of your range,
I guess the thousand of mile away partners, didn't meet on Bumble or Hinge.
They were due to meeting as people travel...and they are showing off! lol
45 minutes isn't too far away.

i would prefer if a partner doesn't live too close to me. 45 minutes sounds perfect

Are you always having to go see him or does he come see you

Online. We're never more than 6 weeks or so apart. I will be in the US in a week or so for a few weeks, then he will be here till February.

You're so lucky. Chicago is amazing!

I was going to say up to an hour so I think 45 minutes is fine.

Me and my bf of a year are about an hour apart on a good day, but usually more like 1 hr 15. It works well. Initially was a little trickier before we started staying at each others houses (both have dcs living with us full time) but after we'd all met it was not an issue. Usually see each other for one night and half a day on the weekend and one night during the week, but sometimes more and sometimes a bit less and we take it in turns roughly speaking to visit each other. I wouldn't say it's an issue at all, though both are sets of children are late teens/early twenties so they can be left home alone and in terms of future that won't be an issue with schools etc.

Same. 200ish miles for DH and I for the first 2 years of our relationship. We took it in turns to travel at weekends. Married 25 years and counting.