Hand hold please…

[MichealMyers]

It’s been a long time coming. My OH has had enough, and is unhappy. Said he’s stayed and tried to make it work for the kids, but he feels like neither of us should settle just because we’re comfortable.

weve had our ups and downs in the past, and we’re not perfect by all means but I didn’t think it was this bad.

im fucking heartbroken and I’m not sure I can do this. He’s all I’ve known for 13 years 😭😭

I'm very, very sorry. I don't have any suggestions but didn't want to read and ignore. I'm sure someone will come along, who is better at this than I am, but I wanted to let you know someone heard you 💙

When you say it a long time coming, are you unhappy too? Deep down, if you’re honest with yourself?

Thank you

No I’m not unhappy. We have our issues like any normal couple but I wanted to be with him forever

When did you last go on a date together? Its horrible for you OP.

I can’t even remember. We have kids , one of them has autism so I think it’s taken a toll.

Is there room for counselling? Or is he adamant its over.

i suggested it, it’s a no. He said he doesn’t want to work on it , he’s been working on it for years which is true he has. It’s me that’s pushed him away which is why I feel worse 🥺

Why did you push him away?

Trust issues and my mental health.
he broke my trust a few times a few years ago, and he’s been trying to build it up but I’m struggling to let go of the past and he had enough. I don’t blame him, I’ve had enough of myself

The trust issues … did he cheat on you? In that case I would not blame you for how you have received his attempts to repair. I do hope you are ok. Get some free legal advice if this going ahead - make sure you get a fair share of the assets and also that your husband will also share care of the children.

I'm so sorry. I have no advice but I do know how you feel.

Its awful when your whole world implodes and everything you thought your future would be changes, and its not what you want.

My first DH was my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the person in the world I thought would never do anything to hurt me. He then cheated on me. He begged for forgiveness which I gave, and we decided to put it all behind us and try again. 12 months later, out of the blue, he told me he was leaving and didn't want to continue with our marriage. Despite us having sex and him telling me he loved me just the night before. It was a HUGE shock and I didn't see it coming so I had the rug pulled out from underneath me.

It hurts OP. I totally get it and I spent nights wondering if it was all my fault.

Within a few weeks of him leaving I realised that actually I had done nothing wrong and had been a bloody good wife to him and that is when the fight back came and I suddenly started to think differently.

I filed for divorce and never looked back. Actually him leaving and us divorcing was the making of me and it can be for you too. One day, when you are ready.

For now, please protect yourself and go and get some legal advice.

You CAN do this. There is life beyond a break up. You just can't see it yet, but its there.

x

So, I'm guessing he cheated on you a while back, which completely broke your trust, but you stayed with him. He did nothing to repair the trust and got annoyed when you wouldn't 'get over it.' You've had a horrible, stressful time of it while he's taken advantage of the whole situation. Now, he's got someone new (or the original affair partner) waiting in the wings so he's off.

It doesn't feel this way now, but it sounds like he's done you a huge favour.

How are you doing?