Title has the basic idea.
This happened a couple days ago, and I am still in a state of shock. My wife is about 5 months pregnant, so fairly deep into the throes of pregnancy, amd it has been a rough one to day the least. Morning Sickness sucks for her, she is confined to bed rest, and cravings and hormones are doing their thing. I have beetryoning to be the supportive husband, and I won't say I am perfect, but I always remember that she is growing our child inside of her, so I defer to whatever she wants and says nowadays. Our relationship has been good, really good in fact, which is why I am still in shock right now. We are supportive of each other, we love each other physically and emotionally, life is going well for us (considering the state of the world), and of course we will get our little bundle of joy in a couple of months.
It started out with an argument a couple days ago. It was over something not intense, like maybe 4/10, and normally I would just hold my tongue and defer to her. Its not worth wasting time and energy when at the end of the day the outcome is the same. Like I said, she has it a lot worse then me right now, so its not the worst thing in the world to hold my tomgue. This time it got out of hand, and in retrospect I really should have just tried to calmly defuse it, but it ramped up fast and both of us said some things we should not have said to each other.
My wife was doing the dishes while we were talking, and it got so heated that she whipped around and hit me in the face with a plate. The plate shattered and broke my nose from the impact and I fell over. I was shocked, it didnt even register that this happened, and when I looked up I was genuinely scared. My wife was holding a soapy steak kmife and rag in her hands, and the look on her face was of anger like I had never seen before. Now I know this looks bad, especially the way I am describing it. But let me finish the story. For a second we were both just frozen, then my wife realized what happened and how she looked. She literally flung the knife away and her face melted into shock and horror. At this point she is crying and apologizing just over and over and over again, and shaking me to respond since I am just frozen, and trying to clean up my nose and stop the bleeding. After a few minutes I come too and we go to the hospital. My wife is a blubbering mess this entire time, and so I talk with the doctor and make up a story, and get all patched up, and when we get home I defuse things for the night, especially since this amount of stress cannot be gold for her or the baby.
That night I did not sleep well at all. I am usually pretty good at compartmentalizing things in all aspects of my life, and I think that night my head was just stuck in that moment. Since then I have been better, but obviously my face has a visible injury. I have only told my mother, father, and 3 super super close friends what happened, so that I can guage what I should do and we are a bit divided.
To me, as bad as it looked and as bad as what happened, I put it up to the preganancy amping up both our stress levels, me ramping up the argument, and things just getting to a snapping point. My wife was a literal mess immediately afterwards, and has been nothing less then an angel and saint to me the last couple of days, even though she is the one growing a human inside her. 2 of my friends (male) agreed with me, and pointed out that this level of stress will only increase and plateau for a couple of years, so I should learn to avoid such situations and tools to defuse things. They also offered me a place ro xrash if things ever got out of hand, and I needed a place with some space. My other friend (female) says "It is Domestic Violence and Physical Abuse" and I should not only report the i cident to the police but I should also move out and divorce her. I think the former portion is a bit overblown, since this is the first time any sort of incident even remotely like this has happened, and our relationship to this point has been good and is worth salvaging (plus its not like the police can do anything at this point, even if I wanted to; its a he-said-she-said situation). My mother agrees with my female friend, bur she also has a histroy of anxiety and the like and is wont to blowong things out of proportion too. Its been a major issue in my relationship with her. My dad agrees with my female friend, and says that marriage with children is the roughest portion of the marriage, but if we can overcoem and perservere then our relationship will be like iron, which is close to what my male friends and I intiially thought.
Now normally I don't like to make major decisions without keying in other opinions. My take is that of multiple people have agreeing opinions there is some truth to it, but in this case both sides have thay. I still am in a state of ahock and disbelief myself, I recognize that. I have been a bit jittery and jumpy, haven't slept as well comparatively to before (getting better), and this does not help maming the decision. But like I saod, my wife was a blubbering mess immediately afterwards and was trying to help me, and had been an angel and saint ever since. We haven't even talked about it, my wife has bought ot up once or twice to try amd talk, but I waved it off and moved on. I don't know if this is some demented form of Stockholm Syndrome or something, so I need another outside perspective to talk to, that isn't closely related to me but won't ruin my wife's life immediately. Can you guys give me any advice at all??