Why do relationships change after so many years

[Momofthreexxx]

I’ve been in a relationship with the love of my life for 18 years we have 3 kids together and have had a few tricky times over the past couple of years. My feelings towards him have not changed and I love him so much. Unfortunately issues with our daughter has changed us both but I’ve been able to pull through it to some extent. He is still struggling and we are so distant now and I hate it. I really don’t know how to get us back on track or whether we even can? When do you know it’s done even tho it’s not what you want?

I think you explore options like couple therapy. Maybe also read Mating in Captivity by Ester Perez

Do you both want to save the relationship and are you both prepared to go to a relationship counsellor?

Well, we had a rough spot just before year 20, for the first time in our marriage we needed outside support.
Did a few sessions of therapy together, and it made an enormous difference.
We are at year 29 now , stronger than ever.
To be clear, we were not dealing with infidelity/abuse/major money, as that might have ended differently.
We were more struggling with communication, being heard, and supporting each other more effectively

We've been married 36 years and there have definitely been some ups and downs. The stresses of parenthood, pressure of work, dealing with wider family - all these things have caused distance and disagreement over the years. I think both of us have wanted to walk away at times, just not at the same time!

I don't know what the answer is really - I guess if you both stick at it, you find your way back to each other again. Little acts of kindness and consideration help, bringing each other a cuppa in bed, making a favourite dinner, finding things to watch together, going for walks & having a coffee together, anything that can bring you together and remind you of why you got together. Listening to old songs and reminiscing 😌