So, how do I divorce a man trying to take my kids?

[WhenImAlone]

How do I navigate a divorce with someone who has told me (in a joking way) that he was going to take the kids 100% if we ever split?

Some context, my husband has been making this joke for some time, to the point where I cant believe its a joke. Its the same with him thinking I'm cheating on him, accusing me with a joking tone bc our son doesn't look like him (I've told him to get a paternity test).

This isnt the only reason. He's kinda emotionally abusive (not my words, but others when I tell them the details), and would rather yell and throw things around the kids and I then help with anything around the house.

We just aren't right for each other anymore, ans I'm afraid he's going to be spiteful bc of it.

You are in an abusive relationship and the kids are witnessing it, as he is yelling and throwing things around them. My ex would swear he was not abusive but DS is still traumatised by the shouting today.
Please talk to someone who can advise you what to do legally.

Please get advice from a solicitor before you tell your husband. Also, getting in touch with women’s aid might benefit you greatly.

Hugs to you, it’s a difficult undertaking.

Sending hugs 🫂. Well done for seeing through this man. It’s a common threat, generally made by men who have never even changed a nappy and who are MIA for most childcare duties. He might mean it but courts tend to operate on a presumption of contact. Unless there is some massive back story you are not mentioning they are very unlikely to refuse all contact and the fact that a father wants to deprive a good mother of contact with her children won’t count in his favour.

How old are your children?

3 and 2

Well he won't get 100% custody and it is very unlikely he will even want 50% in practice. Get advice and start divorce proceedings whilst keeping yourself and the kids safe. Abuse often ramps up when women try to leave.

I do not think he is joking, he is using this to keep you grounded. Tell him your not happy, its impossible to take kids away from you unless the courts agree with it.

Look up the circle of abuse wheel;threatening to take away your children is a form of abuse in order to control you and frighten you into staying with him.

You very quietly get your ducks very neatly in a row. You get lots of good advice from an abuse charity eg women’s aid. Once you’ve got a plan you leave safely.
You're at your most vulnerable when you tell him you’re going to leave. It’ll be better for you to tell him after you’ve left.

There's no way a court would give him 100% custody OP. He's saying it to scare you.

Evidence. Get evidence of the abusive things he does.