Would you forgive your partner for sending explicit pictures and messages to his ex?

[ForgiveorForget26]

My best friend recently confided in me that 2 years ago her partner’s ex (mother of his child) messaged her revealing that her partner had been sending her sexual text messages and images (of his private parts) - she showed her screenshots. He admitted it and she was devastated, but said she couldn’t let his bitter ex break them up.

I was quite shocked for multiple reasons. Her partner seems unremarkable and dull tbh, but he always seemed to make her incredibly happy and she also spoke about what a great dad he is to his child,. On her Facebook, it appears like they have the perfect relationship - happy pictures of them on the beach, date nights, they go on multiple holidays a year etc. She takes on the role of Mum during his weekends when he has his child - bathes, reads, does homework etc.

However I just can’t help but think she deserves better. It might have been a “one off” but cheating one time is surely enough? I see it as pure disrespect. I just know there are many other men out there who could make her just as happy if not more and never cheat on her? It’s also made me question if she’s really as happy as she appears in her pictures on Facebook and instagram?

I could never forgive my partner if he cheated on me, I’d feel insecure and inferior and I’d have to leave him, despite all of our happy times - and we have children together!

Am I right in thinking she was wrong to forgive him? It appears that she wanted to prove his ex partner a point, that nothing will ever split them up? She has called the ex a psycho, however I take this with a pinch of salt, as know men make up many stories about their exes to make them look crazy!

I think its not your business really what anyone else chooses to do. You may not have taken him back but lots of people do.

Social media is not real, it is curated no matter what anyone says.

Your friend is a walkover. Calling his ex bitter because HE sent HER pics is enabling and accepting of the fact he is a lying cheating scumbag.

I wouldn't put up with that behaviour but it often amazes me just how many women accept and tolerate bad behaviour.

Yes you are probably right. She confided in me after 2 years of keeping it to herself, I listened to her but kept my opinion to myself. I just said I’m sorry and asked how she felt. She said “devastated” but believed ex was trying to break them up.

I guess it’s normal for many people to stay when their partner cheats, I guess I just struggle to comprehend it and just wanted to learn how people can be happy after cheating episodes, but I’m probably the odd one for thinking it’s sad and to wonder how people can be truly happy after it!

I guess low-self esteem, insecurities, low confidence and lack of self worth could have an impact on decision making. Fear of being alone for those reasons. Financial implications for some are reasons enough to stay. Some people stay as they believe thats right for their children.
Ultimately, you won't ever really know why someone decides what they decide. Perhaps they don't fully understand themselves. For some it's an intrinsic desire to 'win'. Who knows...

she couldn’t let his bitter ex break them up

Your friend is thicker than mince.

It's a relevant whether she told her out of a genuine concern or spitefulness, the fact is, he was the one in the relationship with your friend and he is the one that sent dick pics to his ex and God knows what else.

She's going to be in their life forever as they have a joint child. He still wants to at least be a new pants if not back in a relationship with her, your friend is incredibly stupid to think this is going to work.

No way would I forgive this.