Weird thing to say?

[naturalelements]

So what would you do? Just met a man recently. We're both mid fifties. He's been divorced for over 10 years, I never married but out of a long-term relationship for a good few years. Decided to start dating again.

So date number one went well enough. He was a bit nervous, so was I. I did notice he seemed to eye track two blonde women who came in after me, but thought nothing more of it. As the night went on, a few more drinks and we got along well. He made me laugh and we clicked I think.

The following week we had another two dates and good fun. On the third one we decided to go for a meal after drinks and that was great too.

Fourth date we entered the previous relationships "zone", as I'm wont to call it. We had both had a couple of drinks, so relaxed and just sitting in our usual place to meet. He started opening up about his marriage and said that he found it really hard being monogamous with all the attractive women around.

This was after telling me on the previous date that he was a "very loyal man" and thought cheating was the worst of the worst crimes you could ever commit in a committed relationship.

I ended the date early, lied and said I had an early start. Would I be overreacting to not want to see him again? But who the hell says something like that?

Bin him off.

He's telling you he will cheat at the first available opportunity and that you're nothing more than a place holder for someone he thinks is prettier.

He deserves lonliness.

Run for the hills. He’s a red flag. And the truth comes out after a few drinks.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Because of course all these attractive women would be blessed to have the attention of a wayward fifty something married man.

What a wanker!

It’s the automatic suggestion that they were available for him like he was in a sweet shop and not talking about humans with inner worlds. I’d be more forgiving if he was 22 but to be saying that mid fifties, he hasn’t arrived at middle age with the depth and wisdom you deserve and need.

Oh dear. It's so disappointing isn't it when you think you've found somebody you connect with and then they come out with something like that. To be honest "tracking" other women on his first date with you (or at any point) isn't exactly the height of respect either. Nor does it fill you with optimism. He needs to look in the mirror and grow up.

You don't need a reason not to see him again.

But flee! Like your life depends on it 💐💐💐

well he can’t keep track of his BS. One day spouting about how loyal and against cheating he is, the next pretty much saying he is a cheat and feels surrounded by opportunities to cheat.

What a let down, OP. I suppose the best way to approach dating is to but bear in mind we never really get to know anyone during the initial getting to know you phase when people are trying to make a good impression. Enjoy the dates but don’t make firm decisions about character until you have time to see if what they say and what they actually do are the same.

‘He found it really hard being monogamous with all the attractive women around’.

Some men are so unbelievably stupid, aren’t they. They can’t even hold their water (ie shut up about their pathetic perversions) on one of their first dates with a new woman.

And the ego on him to think that this comment would fly with you. What did he think you would do with this information? Rush to keep yourself as attractive as possible at all times for him in light of his warning, or accept that he can’t be responsible for his own fidelity?

Very generous of him to tell you who he is so early. What a prick.

I would have done the same, why waste a minute longer on someone that finds it hard to be loyal, maybe he’s stupid or just rude for saying that, silly man.

I don't have the patience for the bullshit any more,

i'd have just said ''it has been fun getting to know you, but I'm leaving now, I'm not interested in someone who finds monogamy difficult'

& left.

Get rid. Hes told you who he is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Absolutely - I would also have added it... "And if you remember you said the last time we met that you were a loyal person who thinks that cheating is one of the worst crimes you could ever commit in a committed relationship. So either you were lying then or you're lying now... either way, you're lying and I am not sticking around to find out why you can't keep your stories straight."

And then left as @AutumnLoverButNotYet says - I wouldn't have made an excuse about getting up early the next day, I would have given him what for there and then before I departed.

He just texted asking are we still on for tonight. I've given him pretty much what you said as a response, so thank you very much, love it!

He has replied, explaining that he was "only joking".

What an absolute arsehole.

He has an incredibly high opinion of himself. In fact, I'd say he was very arrogant. He likes to present himself as humble and kind, but he's showing me who he is now.

He is looking for a open relationship
You are not.

Wow how kind of him to out himself as trash on the fourth date. Be lucky it wasn't 10 years down the line! What a gentleman.

He kept saying how much of a loyal gentleman he was!!

The audacity of some low class members of the male species truly never ceases to amaze me as I make my way through life. If I had half his confidence.

Big lesson for me. I have a lot to offer and I need to stop throwing my precious pearls before the proverbial swine.

But as you say, thank goodness he outed himself now, and not later.

It was a test. Men like this say these things to see how much you'll accept. The actual first red flag was saying he was a 'loyal gentleman' - it's the same as saying 'trust me' - only comes out of the mouths of untrustworthy people.

Well done for binning him fast.

Good point. People who talk themselves up are usually the ones with no substance. A person shows you who they are when their words align with their actions. Their actions speak.

Someone who spouts confusing bullshit like this is never to be trusted.